Is My GF into BBC?

Hey everyone,
New to the community, and wondering if you could help me out?

My girlfriend constantly brings up BBC, but claims not to be into it. She says she's not attracted to blacks and the size "grosses her out." She says she doesn't like when they're "so big they hang."

I have many examples that make me think otherwise, let me know what you think...

The first time she brought it up, we were discussing the movie "Nymphomaniac."
In it the female lead takes two BBCs.
I casually mention that I thought there was no way those were real cocks, and she said "they definitely are. Black guys have massive cocks. I've seen it in porn before my girlfriends and I watched as a joke."
To get her to elaborate, I played devil's advocate. "That's just a myth."
She says "no, trust me, all black guys have huge cocks."

Later, we're scrolling through Netflix and see Nymphomaniac streaming. She says "watch, put it on, I bet you they're real."
So we watch it, and she says, she thinks they're real. Then she suggests we watch IR porn to see if other black guys have as big of cocks, so she can prove to me they're all that big.
During the IR porn, she kept going "ew, they're so big, that's so gross." But she never looked away. After, we had amazing sex.

Since then, there have been many times where she'll casually bring up black cocks, it'll end up in us watching bbc videos, and she always says she's grossed out, but then we have great sex and she'll be incredibly wet.
(If you want more examples of how it was casually brought up and how it lead to IR videos, let me know, I just didn't want this to go on too long).

One time, we even went to a nude beach, and there were lots of BBCs there. She commented about how they liked to show off. At one point, she spotted one that she could not stop talking about. "Oh my god, it's so big, look at the way it hangs and swings." He started running out of the water and she screams "holy shit! It's flailing around, it's like an elephant trunk!"
I asked if it turned her on, and she said "no, I can't imagine taking something that big, it's gross."
But every time I looked at her, she was staring at it.
Later that week, we saw her good girlfriend and my girlfriend told her we went to the nude beach. She asked how it was, and my girlfriend goes "there was lots of big black cocks," excitedly.

Anyway, a long time ago, I told her I had a fetish of girls walking in on me and being shocked by my cock, and that cock reactions were hot to me.
A while back, we ended up looking at BBC reaction gifs on tumblr for nearly an hour under the pretense we both thought it was "funny."
Recently, she walked in on me changing when I was soft but looked particularly large. She had genuine shocked reaction at my size and was very turned on. Her reaction turned me on, too. (She even mentioned she liked the way it hangs, even though she said it grosses her out when black guys' cocks hang).

Because we haven't watched any porn in the last couple of months, and I don't know how to bring it up again, I thought I'd be a little more bold. I said told her her reaction to my dick was hot, and she said "I know, you've got a fetish about girl's reaction to your dick."
And I said "yeah, that's why that BBC reaction tumblr was so hot to me."
This grossed her out, and she said she thought we were just watching it cuz it's funny. She said "you liked seeing those black dicks?"
I said "I just like seeing girl's reactions to huge cocks of any color."

Later, we were talking about some porn she found on my phone of a girl with big tits, which she said made her feel self-conscious. She said "what if you opened my laptop and there was a girl getting fucked by three black guys with massive cocks?"
And I said, "is that the kind of porn you watch?" And she said "ew no, I just mean how would you feel?" I said I wouldn't care, as it's just porn, and that I'd probably go out and buy her a 10" black dildo. She just said that's very sweet.

Anyway, I know I'm rambling, but let me know what you think? Is she secretly into BBC?
If so, how do I get us to watch more IR porn? We used to like once a month or so, she would find some way to bring it up and it would end in IR porn. Another time more recently I brought it up and she goes "here we go, black cock talk again." And seemed totally disinterested. I got embarrassed and changed the subject.
Another time, we were playing cards with a black spade on the back of each card and I mentioned what that symbol represents and what a QoS is, and she just said "why do you know that?" Again, I quickly changed the subject.

What do I do to get her to admit she's into BBC, and for us to watch more videos? I don't know why it was so easy a few months ago, and now she makes me feel like a pervert.
Also, we had to cancel the trip to the nude beach. Hopefully we'll find time later this summer.

However, recently she did make fun of my penis size, which was a turn on, and she's never done before.
I was wearing briefs that showed me off and she commented how big I looked, then she said "you're normally gigantic anyway." Then she started to laugh and say she was kidding, and went on to say how it's especially small when it's soft (I'm definitely a grower), saying when flaccid, there's barely anything there.