The husband and I fantasize about bringing BBC into our marriage for years. Husband wasn't there when I had my first encounter that he set up but we have enjoyed the pictures and videos from that experience way too many times to count. As we are looking to do this again and find ourselves a steady BULL to take care of me this is where my struggle begins. As a woman and a mom in a pretty well known area of my life it's pretty hard to go out and just pick up a stranger. My suggestion has been to go an hour away from where we live to a cocktail hour cocktail lounge may be out by the airport where lots of business men come and go. I personally have no doubt I can find myself someone to join into our relationship but it would have to be approved by my husband that would be with me when this all took place anyway. The problem I'm having is my husband thinks that I should be dressed to impress and find myself someone every time we walk out the door. Reality is going to tell you that that is not possible I'm well known in the community I am a mom a sports mom a PTA mom and a wife. Now don't get me wrong I love to dress sexy I love to dress up like a slut and I would 24/7 if not for being known like I am. So to just pick a guy off of Craigslist or off of this black to white site and assume that it's going to be "THE 1" that's going to join our marriage which is basically what happens when you choose a BULL or are chosen by a BULL is even bigger than the fantasy we are trying to live. When my husband gets mad at me and says screw this whole fantasy & this whole thing definitely makes me question whether this marriage is ready to even go any further entertaining this fantasy come to life. I should say it doesn't make me question it I already know the answer our marriage is a solid foundation for over 20 years but in the last few years is not so solid unfortunately and it's a very sad situation that brought it to where it is. So I guess my question is where do I find a happy medium I dress sexy at home we have a blast. I dress super sexy under my long coat we go cruise around the hood go in and out of stores that I probably don't belong in but I find it so freaking hot when almost every black man's attention is on me. I'm a plus size lady that find myself desirable sexy and above all else love by my husband. I guess my question is what is it in a man's mind that brought this fantasy to his wife and she jumped on board full force that makes him think every time I'm not dressed "properly" every time we walk out the door that it's okay to say "screw this fantasy" " I'm done with it" it really makes me question if we should be going forward with this at all when my marriage is in question I say the fantasy doesn't even come into play. Any input good or bad is appreciated..