I'm struggling here & can use some advice


Real Person
Gold Member
The husband and I fantasize about bringing BBC into our marriage for years. Husband wasn't there when I had my first encounter that he set up but we have enjoyed the pictures and videos from that experience way too many times to count. As we are looking to do this again and find ourselves a steady BULL to take care of me this is where my struggle begins. As a woman and a mom in a pretty well known area of my life it's pretty hard to go out and just pick up a stranger. My suggestion has been to go an hour away from where we live to a cocktail hour cocktail lounge may be out by the airport where lots of business men come and go. I personally have no doubt I can find myself someone to join into our relationship but it would have to be approved by my husband that would be with me when this all took place anyway. The problem I'm having is my husband thinks that I should be dressed to impress and find myself someone every time we walk out the door. Reality is going to tell you that that is not possible I'm well known in the community I am a mom a sports mom a PTA mom and a wife.
Now don't get me wrong I love to dress sexy I love to dress up like a slut and I would 24/7 if not for being known like I am. So to just pick a guy off of Craigslist or off of this black to white site and assume that it's going to be "THE 1" that's going to join our marriage which is basically what happens when you choose a BULL or are chosen by a BULL is even bigger than the fantasy we are trying to live. When my husband gets mad at me and says screw this whole fantasy & this whole thing definitely makes me question whether this marriage is ready to even go any further entertaining this fantasy come to life. I should say it doesn't make me question it I already know the answer our marriage is a solid foundation for over 20 years but in the last few years is not so solid unfortunately and it's a very sad situation that brought it to where it is. So I guess my question is where do I find a happy medium I dress sexy at home we have a blast. I dress super sexy under my long coat we go cruise around the hood go in and out of stores that I probably don't belong in but I find it so freaking hot when almost every black man's attention is on me. I'm a plus size lady that find myself desirable sexy and above all else love by my husband. I guess my question is what is it in a man's mind that brought this fantasy to his wife and she jumped on board full force that makes him think every time I'm not dressed "properly" every time we walk out the door that it's okay to say "screw this fantasy" " I'm done with it" it really makes me question if we should be going forward with this at all when my marriage is in question I say the fantasy doesn't even come into play. Any input good or bad is appreciated..
Well stated BobinClt!! When we started swinging it was the two of us and mostly couples. I realized it wasn't my game (I am a cuck above all else) but knew she wanted to continue with her bbc's. We have traveled 250 miles away to play but mostly less than 100 miles. We met men from our preferred swinger site which has now closed (swappernet) but regardless of what means you use to meet them, be up for fun travels and pick nice hotels. We still love our get-away times but finally hooked up with a more local regular or two. We are all on the same page with discretion and love how it is without any emotional drama either. Keep mind games out of this... we use the "this" (us) and "that" (us as swingers) thinking and always focus on the "this" part which is our real lives in proper perspective. Good luck in your play and keep those mind games in the back corner of it all. Enjoy!!
You fucking rock. No need to tell you that.... Love is shared between us like no others...You'll find your confidence within yourself grow with every time someone other than I comment you.. Trust is what I have in my best friend in order to see beyond the selfishness of keeping you from enjoying something I inspired you to try...its not all about the way you dress its more of how you can express that raises my cock....a SLUT can dress any way she wants...but a lady's attitude makes her desired..
Yeah I'm gonna tell ya that it's a matter of if you want to...do..if you don't..then don't...asking advice from strangers instead of just saying something to your husband gets you no where. Your desires are what they are.. They are seen in your actions..I sure wasn't like "Hey honey.. Ummm well ummm" & its been a 20 year thing. She knows how to play the role & when its acceptable... She chooses.. I ALLOW IT......"Most husbands..." I'm not anything like any other husband on this site...


Sweet & Cordial
Gold Member
If "your marriage is in question", this activity is not going to help it in the least, and in fact, once his frustration reaches a head, it only supports his position to end it. Are you SURE you know what hubby's frustration really is? Men can be very deceptive with laying their true feelings out for discussion. Possibly you need to take a reality assessment of where you will be IF in fact your marriage flounders ... where do you go, how do you explain things to friends & family, how dependable & reliant will your spouse be towards helping you with the kids, IF you are the one who has majority custody? Are you capable of supporting yourself and a family by yourself?

If you are a "plus size" woman ... maybe you feel you need the attention of other men to give you confidence and an ego lift. Women want to be loved, wanted, and feel attractive ... are you getting what you really want from your husband? Do you think the two of you are truly being honest with each other?
BBC Cuckolding is not the solution for a marriage under stress!
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I agree there are some insecurity issues that need to be addressed because its not like I demand it of her. I give her permission to enjoy all that life has to offers as I did when we were best friends 20 years ago...it is brought up by her when its the furthest thing from my mind & its forgotten by her when its planned.. Notice I set up the last get together..Not an issue with me...all I ask of her is to be enjoyed not ignored...If I ALLOW IT it is a gift.. If you deny the gift..why offer another right? If it is only mentioned by me at time we have the opportunity.. It is ignored...but brought back up in a "Next time "_scenario by her later....its all a fantasy & take it for what it's worth when ya get it.
I agree with the others about knowing ur relationship is on solid ground first. After that's done, work on a plan. I like the idea of hubby making the arrangements of the two of you going and meeting someone he has already pre screened. It could be a planned surprise where he tells the bull that he will have to seduce you. This could be at a bar, restaurant, hotel lobby, airport. Just going out can be fun but unless you go to a swingers club be prepared for mixed results. Always look your best but not slutty . Bulls appreciate class. You can keep it simple sexy and still PTA mom. What I've found out is other moms who can appreciate that look will engage you and want to befriend you and as u get to know them they may reveal some of their bbc desires