That's a hot story. But just a suggestion, you should try to use paragraphs, which will make your text more easy on the eye and readable. Also you are saying "felling" when you mean "feeling".

It sounds like you may have some time on your hands in the future. Just a suggestion, but you could take a writing course. Then you could write better about what happens. Hope you don't mind the suggestion xx
You're welcome for my grammar tips babe, glad you can use them xxx

Regarding your wife, it sounds like she has a dual conflict in her emotions. The guilt she feels about cheating, and her attraction to black men. I felt very guilty at first too, when I slept with a black man, and my husband didn't even approve so we are getting a divorce. If he were more understanding, like you, maybe we would be still together.

If your wife does decide to experience black men, I suggest you make sure that you are fully understanding of her wishes and also a good provider. Otherwise there is always the risk that she will leave you for a more successful black man.