How we do it

My wife says she has no intention to fuck another guy. But she knows my fantasy and really likes black guys. For her birthday, she and her girlfriends went to Vegas and she had a great time getting lap dances by the black guys at Olympic gardens. She sent me a video and she was into it. She loved how they took control. Anyway, the way we play is: I make 30 minute compilation videos of IR porn for her. I lick her pussy and ass while she watches and then I use a big black dildo to make her cum while she's watching the video. After she cums twice, I fuck her or she'll give me a handjob. I love to feel her pussy after the dildo has stretched her. I'd like to wear a cock cage for this but she's not into it. How do you couples who don't take the next step play?