I've Pm's from several ladies who are in relationships with a white guy and maybe looking to experience a black man on the side, I came across this guide (credit to Ella from getherblacked), which might hopefully help some wives out there.....here it goes. Many women have a strong desire, or even need, to experience the power of black cock. Many of these women have white husbands or boyfriends that they wish to keep in their lives, and thus, want their white husband or boyfriend to accept her need. Note that we do not use the word “approval.” You must not seek his approval, only his acceptance of the fact that you ARE going to go black. With his acceptance, it makes the whole thing much easier for you, as you can bring your black lovers home, or have him help find you blacks to fuck, and you don’t have to explain why you are late getting home from work, or make excuses about going out with the “girls.” The steps presented here are not my original ideas, as you can find similar steps on-line several places; however, I have taken the steps and modified them based on my own experiences in helping other women gain acceptance when they do go black. The concept here is gradualism. In other words, however you do it, unless you are in a very unusual situation, gradually introduce him to the idea. In order for him to accept, you must not only get him to the point where he gradually sees the light, but where he actually becomes more subservient to you. Most often, when you reach a certain point, he will actually SUGGEST you start fucking black, as though it were his idea! That is where you need to lead him. No process is fool proof, and no process works 100% of the time. In many situations, it will not work at all. And it must be stated clearly that the Step Process must not only be tailored to suit individual situations, but it must also be adjusted along the way, depending on the reactions of the white husbands or white boyfriends. In other words, this is a guide which you must change to suit your own situation and the reactions you receive. While the Step Process requires an attitude adjustment on the part of the men/boys you are trying to win over into accepting your going black, it also requires an attitude adjustment on your part too. You must develop a very open minded, adventurous attitude toward sex. You must become adventurous, and challenge your very nature. Some things will be hard to do, but you must not back away from the challenge. And you must not back down in the face of criticism from husband, boyfriend, or family and friends. The rewards in the end will be well worth it. Your attitude adjustment begins with your speech and thought. You must become more open in your thoughts and actions, and in speach. For example, when talking or thinking about having sex with black men, you are not “making love.” No, you are fucking! And you do not shave your pubic area. No, you shave your pussy, or your cunt. Your pubic area or vagina is what you have when you are in the doctor’s office. Otherwise, when you think about it, or talk about it, or are with black men, you have a pussy or a cunt. Black men and boys have cocks. Call them that. White men and boys have peepees, weewees, dickies, etc. and call them that. Don’t call anything a “penis.” As of now, there is no such thing as a “penis.” So make that adjustment right away. Be direct, be adventurous! Challenge yourself! As far as your relationship with your white husband or boyfriend, you by all means must be loving and caring and understanding. And you must continue to show your love and affection in all the ways you have, and even go beyond how you have shown it before. Make special dinners; bring home flowers; or give him a special Hallmark type of card. As you progress along the steps, you must also provide a system of rewards and punishments for your white boy, much as you would a puppy. When he reacts favorably to something you have done, make sure he is rewarded some how. You decide how, but it must be fast enough so that he understands the reward was for his favorable reaction. If he reacts negatively, then there must be punishment, and again, it must be fast enough so he knows it is in reaction to his negativity. It can be throwing his dinner on the floor, refusing to kiss him, not talking to him, or whatever. You decide what is an effective reward or punishment in your own situation, then do it. And make sure you are consistent in the application of both reward and punishment. One of the keys in making this process a success is that you cannot argue with him. If he tries to argue, just smile, and do your thing. Do NOT argue about this, ever. For example, if he argues that he does not like you watching IR porn, or doesn’t like you going out without panties, what possible purpose would an argument serve? None, except in making him more resolute or stubborn. By arguing, you have lost. Don’t argue, just smile and watch the IR porn, or whatever it is you are doing. You must continuing to remind yourself of this, as it will be so easy to step into a trap by arguing, then you have set yourself up to fail. Take each step individually, with enough time between to let him adjust and to assess his reaction. Do not push it too fast. The more he reacts favorably, the faster you can go, however. But still do it in steps. Now, finally, if you have already started fucking black, never ever admit that you have already started, unless you firmly believe his is already open to accepting it. The objective here is to lead him to accepting you going black gradually, so it is not a shock to his system, and he can better accept it. If you slap him in the face with it, it is less likely to succeed, and you are less likely to get him to where you need him, both accepting and being more subservient to your needs. Now, one last thing before we progress into the Steps. Do NOT back down. Not even a little. As soon as you back down once, it will be very hard to not back down more in response to his complaints or whining or whimpering or threats. It is really surprising how even very strong men, even community leaders, become submissive sexually to their wife or girlfriend by using this process. Ready to begin? The Step Process: 1. Obtain an Interracial (IR) Porn DVD. Start out with one that has one white woman and one black male. If possible, get one where the woman looks as much like you as possible. Make sure there are NO white males in the movie. Watch the IR porn with your husband (or white bf) and make comments about how hot it is to see something like that, and that you find the contrast between black skin and white skin to be so exciting. At this point, don’t over do it. Just verbally note how exciting it looks. Watch this dvd with him several times over a few days. Each time, you can get a little bit more enthused about it. 2. If you already have not shaved your pussy, now is the time to do it. This will demonstrate to him your new found sexual freedom and liberation. Your new sexual adventurism. Shave your pussy completely. No landing strip, no triangle, just sweet bare skin. Keep your pussy freshly shaved and smooth. Use lotions and ointments that you have found works for you. And make SURE he knows you have shaved. If he asks you why, say nothing more than just “I like it that way.” And do not argue. It is YOUR pussy, not his. The fact you have done this really helps set a tone, an attitude change, in his mind. And actually, if you have him help you shave your pussy, it will help make him more submissive to you. 3. Obtain a couple more IR porn dvd’s. This time, however, open up the field. Get one with a white girl and SEVERAL black men. You can also get one with more than one girl and several black men. Each time, try to make sure one of the girls in the IR porn has similar features to you. Watch the IR porn with him several times, and act more enthused than ever. Be naked when you watch the porn. Start rubbing yourself, opening your legs. Start making comments about how beautiful black cocks are. Don’t go TOO far with this yet, but make sure he sees how beautiful you think IR fucking is. 4. Become a home nudist. This is a very important Step. Be a nudist at home not just some of the time, but nearly all the time. Cook with an apron (avoid those splashes!) but eat naked, sleep naked, watch TV naked, clean house naked, etc. Have kids? Don’t worry, I absolutely promise they will get used to it. They will giggle and snicker at first, and make some comments, but they will get used to it quickly. If you are of a mind to (and this really does help), get your whole family to become home nudists. If you set the example, they will follow with encouragement. This is important: do NOT back down no matter what they or your husband or boyfriend says. It is critical. It is part of your new attitude, your new sexual adventurism, your new sexual liberation. You must do it. Have a short robe handy near the door for emergencies, but otherwise, baby, be naked! The short robe should cover your ass, but just barely. 5. At this point, if your white husband or boyfriend hasn’t attempted to sit down with you to discuss all this, they will soon. Do not argue. Just explain that you want to be more open, to be an honest person with your new sexual freedom and liberation, and that is the way it is going to be. Period. Do NOT back down, not one inch. And do not explain too much. Do not mention at this point you want to go black. Just explain you have become more adventurous, more open. That is it. During this process, you will REALLY have to watch yourself to keep from arguing. Be calm at all times, but be determined. YOU are in charge, not him. 6. Begin to dress sexy when going out. When going to work, dress as sexy as you can without getting into trouble. When going out to movies or dinner or to parties or even the grocery store, really dress sexy. Very short skirts, or “cameltoe” stretch pants, very low cut tops. In the summer, wear shorts so short they show at least a couple inches of cheek (but very short skirts are still better, even in the summer). Challenge yourself. Dress sexier than you really think you can do. When you go out, if you are not slightly embarrassed at first, then you probably are not dressing sexy enough. You will get used to it, we promise! 7. If you can find one (you may have to get it on-line) get a IR porn dvd with a white cuckold in it. Make sure the white cuck does nothing other than watch his wife get fucked by black cocks, or cleans her after, and nothing more. Make sure he doesn’t participate in fucking any white women or getting blow jobs from a white woman. Watch it with your husband or bf several times, and each time remark on how interesting you find that situation to be, how hot it is. As you watch the white girl getting eaten or fucked by blacks, really play with yourself. Allow him to play with you, but make it clear what gets you hot is the black cock, not whatever he does to you. 8. You must now, in his mind, begin to associate your sexual arousal only to black cocks, only to white girls being fucked by black men. If IR porn isn’t playing, or a black dildo isn’t being used (next Step), then do not cum. Hold back. Be unsatisfied with only him. Get off ONLY when he sees you associate black in white. 9. Get a very realistic black vibrating dildo. Use it while watching IR porn, and even when just playing around. Let him use it on you, and cum loudly from it. Scream out that you love that black thing in you, that black feels so good. Emphasize black in absolutely everything. 10. Make every attempt to keep him out of your pussy. If you must, suck him off, or give him a hand job, or better yet, get him to jerk off for you. If you cannot avoid it, do NOT cum from him fucking or eating you. Lay like you’re a board. Cum ONLY when it is associated with black. 11. When you’re with your white husband or boyfriend, when out and about, begin to openly notice black men. If you are shy, at least smile at every black man you see. And I do mean EVERY, no matter his age or looks. Make it a big smile, an inviting smile. Give them a little waive if you are too shy to say anything. Make comments to your husband or boyfriend about how you wonder how big his black cock is (and do say “black.” Black must always be the emphasis.) Flirt with black men in grocery stores or in cafes or anytime and place. Do this all the time, but especially when you are with your husband or boyfriend. It may make him angry at first, but do NOT back down, and do not argue. Just smile at him and say nothing more than “a little jealous?” And keep doing it. 12. This step is critical. Get a strap-on black dildo. You are going to use it on your white husband or boyfriends ass, so make sure the strap is adjustable to fit you, and the dildo is not so large it will hurt him too much. The dildo should be small or medium at first and not large. Also get an anal lube that contains an analgesic. You will use the lube with the analgesic the first few times. After the first few times, just use a regular anal lube, not one with an analgesic. Tell him you want him to experience and enjoy a black cock dildo as much as you have. Get him naked and down on all fours, and you fuck his ass. If he objects, pay no head and do it anyway. That is very important. After the first few times, he will become used to it and get over any soreness. He will start to cum just from getting fucked in the ass. The process will, honestly, make him more submissive to you. After he first starts to cum from getting fucked in the ass, at that point, make him put paper down under him so he can then clean up and throw away his own cum. Make it a point about throwing away his cum. 13. It now must become absolutely and positively clear that the ONLY way he is going to cum is when you are fucking him in the ass with the strap-on black dildo, or he jerks himself off, or you jerk him off. No longer allow him to fuck or eat you. You must now get ALL your pleasure from black, just as he must get all or most of his from black, either from the dildo in his ass, or by watch black in white fucking. 14. With you being a home nudist, you should now start ordering pizza or other foods for delivery. If your UPS guy is black, start ordering more things on-line for home delivery by UPS. If your boy is home, when a Black male is the delivery person, you answer the door totally naked, and allow him to look all he wants. When he leaves, tell your husband or boyfriend how absolutely thrilling that was for a black male to have seen you naked, and how sexually stimulating that was for you. Have a BIG smile on your face from it, so he fully understands that you really did love it. 15. Begin to dress even sexier when going out. Suggest to him that you both should go to some bars or lounges or other places where there may be some black men you can flirt with or dance with. 16. Now when you go out, start going out totally commando. Let your husband or boyfriend know, right up front, you are going out without panties. Show him, don’t just tell him. Make sure you are wearing a very short skirt, even if only shopping. And express that you hope some black men see you. Make sure he knows he is always welcome to come along, but he cannot interfere with anything you do. Except around the time of your period, NEVER wear panties. Make sure he ALWAYS knows you are without panties, even if you have to call him at work to let him know. 17. While lovingly doing it, start being somewhat critical of his white dickie. If he happens to have a larger than normal dickie, still make comments about it being so pale, so bland, so uninteresting, and how something like that is so unsatisfying. If he has a small dickie, throw in comments about how it is small, how it cannot satisfy you. Do not attempt to over hurt or humiliate him, but he has to understand that he no longer has any hope at all of ever satisfying you again. 18. If you want him even more submissive to you, and usually this is highly desirable, then start requiring him to lick your asshole. It goes without saying that he should, of course, brush his teeth and use mouthwash after. Once he is very used to licking your asshole, it will become somewhat addictive to him. He will even expect to be able to do so (it is a psychological thing). When he reaches that point, then start requiring that he give you his hello or goodbye kisses there. If he makes any attempt to touch your pussy while doing this, make sure he gets scolded or punished. Once he understands that licking or kissing your asshole is a REWARD, then denying him being able to do so can actually be used as a punishment. 19. By the time you get to this point, if you have fucked him in his ass enough, and emphasized enough that he cannot satisfy you, or that you find black men and black cocks so beautiful, he will likely be submissive enough, and willing enough, to suggest to you that you try black cock. Usually, this happens around Step 12 or 13 and very often even earlier. If it doesn’t happen by this point (this Step) for you, then you now must become even more direct. You will now sit him down and tell him you love him, need him, and will stay with him, but you are sexually frustrated and you need more than he can provide, and that you ARE going to soon start fucking black men. Remember, do NOT tell him you already are, if you are. Tell him he can watch if he is good. He can clean you if he is good. He can help you dress for your dates if he is good. But if he creates a fuss, then he will be the one worse off, as he will be denied those things. 20. If he has become submissive enough, and if you are of a mind to, now is the time to put him in a chastity device so that you can reward him by unlocking it to allow him to jerk off when he does something good, or by keeping him locked up when he does something you do not like. There are several on the market. Do a Google for the CB-2000, for example. There are several models. Metal ones are probably best (cannot go through airports that way). If you do this, you must always keep in mind this is a system of reward and punishment. For example, if he finds a nice black man for you to fuck, then reward him not only by letting him watch, but also by unlocking him so he can jerk off. Feedback is very important in refining these Steps. Please provide us with feedback on what has work in your situation and what has not. Provide as much information as to the situation as you possibly can, as without knowing the exact situation, we cannot make refinements. I am sure you also have many ideas about other steps or ways of gaining a white boys acceptance. And remember this: Your are NOT asking for permission or approval, you are simply getting him to accept the new reality.