How has the lifestyle affected your relationship with your spouse

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jdflacpl, Dec 28, 2014.

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How has this lifestyle affected your marrage/relationship

  1. we are closer and more in love with each other

    21 vote(s)
    63.6%
  2. Our marrage is now broken and unrepairable

    3 vote(s)
    9.1%
  3. nothing has changed its life as normal.

    3 vote(s)
    9.1%
  4. You still love your spouce but don't have sex anymore

    6 vote(s)
    18.2%
  1. jdflacpl

    jdflacpl Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Couple
    Country:
    US
    had a discussion with the wife this morning so I'm asking a question that we disagree on
     
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  2. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Country:
    US
    re: How has the lifestyle affected your relationship with your spouse

    I think the feedback from this question will probably depend upon the reason(s) the couple got into the lifestyle to begin with, and unfortunately, very few of the ones that were adversely affected will be here to give their response because it wasn't enjoyable.
    My wife and I have been swinging (couples and 3-somes) since we met 20 years ago, and I can honestly say that for weeks after enjoying a swing, our sexual energy is increased for each other. But, there's none of this humiliation, owning, breeding, etc conversation ... its all mutually enjoyed. The only way to go if you want it to last, I think.
     
  3. Ann4BBC

    Ann4BBC Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    UK
    Good question. I found it hard to choose from the answers given as none exactly fit. We are still very much in love but things have changed. I would compare it to a newly married couple who have their first baby, they still love each other but have a third person in their relationship now to consider and things wont be the same again.
    Good thing is, we can as a couple decide to stop this lifestyle if we choose to, knowing when to do that is the most important thing.
     
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  4. jdflacpl

    jdflacpl Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Couple
    Country:
    US
    its not to late to change the choices I'm open for suggestions
     
  5. Ann4BBC

    Ann4BBC Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    UK
    I would have chosen something like 'you still love your hubby but your feelings have changed towards him' or something like that. X
     
  6. Ann4BBC

    Ann4BBC Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    UK
    Thanx! X
     
  7. Chip

    Chip Well-Known Member Gold Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Country:
    US
    I just know that when my wife is going to meet her black lover every 4-6 weeks when he is in the area she becomes a different woman and I become invisible to her. She spends a week or more getting prepared to meet and at least 2 weeks recovering mentally from getting black dick so very different changes in our lifestyle.
     
  8. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Country:
    US
    I notice half of the respondents to this question responded that their marriage was over or they were no longer having sex with their spouse.
    I wonder how many of these couples, if they had the choice to relive their decision/action, would repeat their choices?
    If the couple entered into a inter-racial relationship, was that decision to do so a mutual decision, or chosen by one side of the partnership?
     
    bm_from_southjersey likes this.
  9. nothinguc

    nothinguc Active Member Gold Member

    Country:
    US
    Mac made some great replies. For me it wasn't really a major issue. Maybe a secondary issue with my first wife who discovered big cock at 19 and decided she was still too young to be tied to one man. She pretty much became the whore of her workplace with black, white, Hispanic, and any other cock she could get.

    After that my relationships included a discussion on how the woman I was seeing felt about swinging and me watching them fuck other men. A number were disgusted with me and asked if I thought they were whores. If one didn't have a negative reaction I knew it was good since I love to watch and get sloppy seconds. So some relationships were formed with a clear understanding between me, the ladies, and later any 3rd or 4th parties we chose to involve ourselves with sexually.

    In the end I found a wonderful white lady who is fine with my size and performance and is not into swinging and we put everything on the table including my past exploits which she accepted as long as I would not go back to it or expect it of her.
     
  10. Ann4BBC

    Ann4BBC Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    UK
    As one of those who voted no longer having sex with hubby in our case its mainly been due to the husband celibacy part of my contract. But i have been disappointed with hubby that he hasnt tried harder to have sex with me. When we started all this our sex was great as he was so turned on. Now it seems he is happy having another guy do all the work sexually to me. I dont regret starting this lifestyle as have had some great experiences to take me and hubby on to our senior years.
    Like i said in my post above, however, knowing when to stop in tjis lifestyle is most important, dont leave it too late to get your marriage back. Me and hubby have a couple of nice holidays planned next year. When my contract is finished in March, we have said I'll give things a rest for a little bit and concentrate on hubby a bit (just for a bit though!) X
     
  11. beenblackened

    beenblackened Moderator Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Couple
    Country:
    US
    Are relationship is stronger than ever even though we don't have sex anymore are love is strong!
     
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  12. DeeDeeinCO

    DeeDeeinCO Well-Known Member

    Gender:
    Female
    In our situation, I have always wished that my husband was more like the other men I have sex with. I enjoy sex with most any man who wants me, especially if he has a good personality and a good sized cock. When I met my husband he was wearing a long, broomstick skirt and a tank top. He was very effeminate, not unlike he is today, eight years later.

    My husband will not ask me for sex, and he has never cared if I had breasts or not. Other men want sex with me, and they love my girls. I like that about other men. They make me feel desirable, wanted, sexy. My husband has never made me feel that way. It has been over two years since my husband has gone down on me, whether I have been with other men or not.

    I love my husband, and although he only has a 3.75" penis, I still like having sex with him. Yet, my husband says that sex is what other men are for. We have had other men live with us for most of our relationship, and they have always become my primary lovers. My husband loves to be my "man in waiting."

    My husband likes it when I tell other people, even people we just meet, that he has a small penis and that he is inadequate, sexually. My husband has also had the word "Cuckold" embroidered on several of his Polo shirts that he wears when we go out.

    Our current live-in is a 35 year old Black Man. He is 10 years younger than me and 16 years younger than my husband. My husband can barely attain a full erection anymore. And my husband rarely stays hard enough for intercourse. It seems that when he does get hard, when he puts his penis to my pussy, he goes soft. Or he cums upon entering me. That has never been the other case when I have had sex with other men.

    My husband believes that doing the dishes and vacuuming the floors or cleaning the house fills my love tank. He's wrong. Our live-in, his friends and other men I have sex with love having sex with me. I love sex! I have always wished my husband felt the same way toward me, but he doesn't.

    My husband is a good provider, financially. And my husband allows other men to please me in all other ways. I will admit that the main reason I love my husband is because he lets me have sex with other men, but I also wish that my husband wanted me the same way that other men do.

    Me having the ability to have sex with other men, with my husband's permission, has made life livable. The one thing that I do love about my husband is that he is willing to use my toys on/in me. Unlike other men who can please me with their cocks, my husband does so with my toys.

    I do not lubricate with my husband, but I get wet easily when I have sex with other men. I have asked my husband what turns him on, and he has said that what turns him on most is seeing me with other men, sexually or otherwise. Other men have told me that I turn them on, and that my intense desire for sex is a big turn on.

    When I want sex with my husband, I have to ask him for it. He will not make the first move. And my husband kisses me, on the lips, but he never deep kisses me. I love kissing, and I deep kiss every man I have sex with. My husband hates cumming. When he does ejaculate, he makes faces. Other men love cumming in me, and I love the feeling of a man cumming in me.

    My husband loves to massage me, but when he does, it is so mechanical. Even when he shaves me, for other men, it is so clinical. He is not a very sexual person, although my husband does enjoy jacking off to pictures of me having sex with other men.

    When I have asked my husband why he doesn't want sex with me, he has said that he does want sex with me, but that other men need sex, too. He also says that the bigger a man's cock is, the more deserving he is of sex with me. I admit that I do like larger cocked men, but then, I like most any man who wants sex with me.

    Sex is the one thing I enjoy most in life. Sex is what makes me happy. And having sex is what makes me feel alive and worthwhile. I am a words person, and I like to be appreciated. I don't often feel appreciated by my husband. Other men tell me how good I am in bed. My husband apologizes for his inadequacies.

    On our three day honeymoon I had sex with 37 other men. On our anniversaries, my birthdays, my husband's birthdays, Valentines day, New years Eve, and all other special holidays, my husband prefers me to have sex with other men. Three men have had me every holiday since they had me on our honeymoon, and other times as well. As a matter of fact, those same three men were part of a gang bang we hosted two weeks after my husband and I started dating eight years ago. And in these eight years, those three men have had sex with me more often than I have had sex with my husband.

    Two of the three men I have had sex with for the last eight years are Black and one of them is white. All three of them are very well sized, and very proficient lovers. Although I have sex with our live-in every night and every morning, I have found that I want, and need, more than that.

    I also have a male friend that I have known for almost 25 years. He and his wife have been close friends of mine. And my best friend, my lover, is like my steak and lobster compared to my husband whom I compare to a plain McDonald's hamburger.

    Two of the men I have been having sex with for the last eight years, as well as my best friend/lover, are married. They come to me when they want really good sex, and that is also what I get when I am with them. The married white male I have sex with, and have been having sex with for the last eight years, is a very good lover. And his cock is what I consider to be perfectly sized.

    The other two Black Men are much larger cocked than my regular white lover. I love having them when I really want to be filled. Our live-in is much larger cocked than my regular white lover and my best friend/lover are. And I enjoy him as well. Hell, I have him most often.

    Other men come to me when they want sex. My husband never asks for sex. My husband prefers to watch me have sex with other men. Other men make me feel appreciated and like a woman. I feel useless to my husband.

    When our live-in walks around the house, my husband can't keep his eyes off of our live-in's cock. Our live-in's cock swings between his legs when he is flaccid, soft. My husband's penis is small enough that it just kind of sticks out. I have never experienced an orgasm with my husband, but I have had orgasms with most every other man I have had sex with.

    I will ask my husband if he wants to make love to me, and he responds saying, "Sure." Other men, when I ask them if they want to make love to me, caress me and kiss me and show me that they want me. I feel that when my husband does have sex with me, he does so out of a feeling of obligation. Other men want sex with me because I feel good and I want them.

    I still want my husband as much as I ever have, but I have noticed that I want to go down on him a lot less often than I used to. It takes him forever to get hard anymore. Other men get hard instantly, even before they take their pants off. To me, when a man has an erect cock, and he wants me, that is the best feeling in the world, second only to the feeling of having them in me.

    When I do go down on my husband, he just lies there. He doesn't say anything, or moan, or anything. Other men tell me how good my mouth feels on and around their cocks. And I like that. I like it when a man tells me how good I am or how good I feel. And I, in turn, tell them how good they feel and make me feel.

    The biggest reason my husband remembers our anniversary, or my birthday, New Year's Eve or Valentine's Day is because he likes to have me gang banged on those days. I will admit that I do like to be gang banged, but I wish there was a different reason why he remembers these days.

    My best friend/lover made love to me 30 minutes before I walked down the isle to marry my husband. I had my friend/lover's cum oozing down my leg as I walked down the isle. After the ceremony, when my husband removed my garter, he mentioned that he could smell sex between my legs. And he thanked me for fucking my friend/lover before we said our vows to each other.

    On our anniversary, every year, I wear my wedding gown when I get gang banged. The other men who fuck me love that their cum gets on my wedding dress, just like my best friend/lover's had on our wedding day, and as their cum had on our wedding night.

    I remember our honeymoon as the best night of our entire relationship. Why? Because I had married the man I love, and 37 other men made me feel loved. My husband hadn't had sex with me for three days before our wedding. And he didn't have intercourse with me until the third day of our honeymoon.

    On the third day of our honeymoon, I'd had intercourse with 7 men that morning and three men that afternoon. One of the men was my best friend/lover. One of the men who I have been fucking since, and before, our wedding day was the first to have me on our wedding night. And because of that, he has been given special privileges. He knows that any time he wants me that he can have me. Me and my husband both feel it is only right since he consummated our marriage.

    The man who has those special privileges is white. His cock is about 9" long and he is very thick. And he cums a lot. And he can cum multiple times. That is what I really like about him, along with how good he makes me feel when I am with him.

    I am not Black exclusive. I have never wanted to limit myself in that way. I know that men of other colors and races can be great lovers, as well. I like that a good number of the men I have sex with are married. That tells me that I am something worthwhile to them, and more or better than they get at home. That is a good feeling.

    I have one lover who was born in Pakistan. He is very well hung, has a great sense of humor, and he treats me like a queen and a whore at the same time. I love that about him. I have another lover that is from Nigeria. He is gentle, but very well hung. And he lasts forever. Another lover is from Australia. His cock is huge. He is white, but can compete with the biggest Black Men I have been with. To me, Men who can be, and are, Men are what I want and need. And that is something my husband isn't.

    Other men make me feel like a woman, wanted, desired, desirable, sexy. My husband makes me feel like I have to mother him. Other men make me want to have sex with them. I often find myself wondering why I want sex with my husband. When I want sex with my husband, I have to practically beg him, and it takes forever for him to even get hard. And when he does get hard, he cums quickly or not at all.

    An old boyfriend from high school, who I have never stopped loving, had recently gotten in touch with me, and today I had him, three times. He has gotten better with age. I was wondering if the same electricity we felt back in high school would still be there, and it was. We both agreed to start dating again. Every time I have made love to or with my husband, I have thought about Shannon, my high school boyfriend. And now I don't have to just think about him. Yea!!!

    I have several regular lovers, and now I am back with my first love. I have a husband who loves me with all his heart, and I have a young Black live-in. I have other lovers and my first love back in my life.

    In answer to your question . . . "How has the lifestyle affected your relationship with your spouse?" I have to say that living the lifestyle has kept me and my husband very happy. He gets to watch me with a lot of other men, and other men get to please me the way that my husband should but can't. And I get a lot of sex!

    I will say that although I wish my husband was like other men, I am really glad that other men aren't like my husband is.