Honest advice...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by GQWhiteBoi, Mar 16, 2013.

  1. GQWhiteBoi

    GQWhiteBoi Well-Known Member Real Person

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    So, all fantasy stuff aside, I do have a legitimate issue.

    I'm seeing a girl right now whom I really have feelings for, but I just don't seem to be working downstairs at the moment. I don't know if it's all of this interracial porn I view daily or what, but it just doesn't stay active down there. Granted, all she's tried to do five times now is a handjob and it hasn't led to a finish yet. She's now getting concerned that we're not "physically compatible" as much as we have feelings for each other. I don't want her to think this way or it lead to further issues. We're not going any further until we can pass this particular hump.

    Any advice on an issue like this or what I can do to fix it?
     
  2. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    Which ISSUE are you wanting to fix, GQ?
    • the fact you can't get or hold an erection while with her
    • your suppressed desire to see your GF with black men
    • your addiction to porn
    Actually the first one is probably the easiest one to fix (medications like Viagra) ... but, let me ask, are you able to masturbate to ejaculation ON YOUR OWN, particularly when you view pics and read stories from this website?
    Also, if the two of you have gone no further than attempting "handjobs" ... just let me say that girls are usually no better at giving handjobs than guys are at eating pussy the first few times they do it. Its truly an "artform" that has to be learned (trained) by women to do correctly. Have you tried eating her pussy BEFORE she attempts the handjobs?

    Addictions (porn, drugs, alcohol, eating, etc) are just that ... things that you can't stop doing, and eventually require you to do more of it to stimulate you to the same levels to get your fix. Addictions are NOT easy to stop, and you may eventually need professional help if that is what the problem is.

    As far as your desire to see your woman with a black man ... do you wish to talk a bit more about that desire? Have you mentioned or talked with her about what you desire or have fantasy about?
    Mac :)
     
  3. GQWhiteBoi

    GQWhiteBoi Well-Known Member Real Person

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    Thanks so much for your response. I really do appreciate it. I have absolutely no problem with erections, etc. when viewing things on this website and beyond. None whatsoever. That's what scares me a little bit. She's fairly experienced in the handjob department and hasn't had this problem with guys in the past. We are just now starting to become physical so I haven't attempted any of that kind of stuff yet.

    I'm not so sure that I desire to see HER with a black man. I love watching those kinds of things online but don't know if I would ever necessarily join that lifestyle in real life. We are both starting to get physical and I am absolutely horrible at about everything sexual so far. One of the reasons I joined this site was to sort of watch and read what black men wrote about because I know that's not typically a problem for them.
     
  4. udomlya

    udomlya Well-Known Member

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    How do the two of you get along in general? Do you feel comfortable around her? Is she easy to talk to? Are you intimidated by her personality? It sounds like something is bothering you about the relationship, some sort of discomfort which is causing sexual performance anxiety. You should talk to her about it, and make sure that she knows how you feel and how it is affecting you. She might be feeling confused and alienated right now.
     
  5. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    Absolutely agree that this sounds like a mental issue, and I think GQ probably knows what it is that is bothering him, but is denying addressing it. I'm more inclined, myself, to think its a porn addiction issue. As long as addictions only affect the individual that has it, it can often go unnoticed by others. But, once the addiction starts spilling over and affecting others, or their jobs, or other parts of the individual's life ... it is hard to ignore and has to be addressed fairly quickly.

    Particular to porn addiction, if that is the issue, it seems to gradually desensitize the individual's stimulating receptors, and in order for the individual to get those awesome HIGHS of excitement, it begins to require the porn become more and more graphic or intense. Not a lot different from cocaine or other addictions. This affects that individual's real world and they find that normal sexual relationships simply do not work for them. Lots of sexual relationships have been affected due to porn addiction, that's for sure.

    GQ should start with a self-assessment of himself, and make himself write down what his assessment reveals. Then, whether he addresses his issues or not, he has them written down, right in front of him.
     
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  6. Bass God

    Bass God Well-Known Member

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    Simple buy some horny goats weed:D
     
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  7. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    GQ, don't let yourself be influenced by what you read on porn sites, please! And, by the way, how do you know what black men typically don't have problems with ? In the real world I imagine they have just as many, if not more, issues as anyone, sexual and otherwise. So, although you may get some ideas here, this is not the best way to address a problem if you seriously want it addressed. Read my comment to udomlya and start from there. Best of luck, too, in finding out what the real issue is. Mac ;)
     
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  8. udomlya

    udomlya Well-Known Member

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    After reading the OP again, I can see your point Mac. Unfortunately we can not be certain of anything without more feedback from GQ. Could be that he got the info he was looking for from this thread, and moved on.
     
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  9. GQWhiteBoi

    GQWhiteBoi Well-Known Member Real Person

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    Sorry for my late response, guys. I really do appreciate both of your feedback. It's an issue that I've been concerned with.

    I'm thinking it may have something to do with porn. Prior to seeing this girl I haven't dated in a very, very long time and porn has been the only outlet for me in the female department. I don't know if I just need to take a break from this site and porn in general or what, but I just want this issue fixed. Would you guys recommend just not looking at porn for a while? How would I fix this as soon as possible?
     
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  10. udomlya

    udomlya Well-Known Member

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    I would suggest that you cut back on the porn and focus on pleasing your partner, if you want to keep her. That's what I would do in such a situation. Just my opinion though.
     
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  11. GQWhiteBoi

    GQWhiteBoi Well-Known Member Real Person

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    Thanks a lot. It really effects your manhood when you can't get it up. She always gets so disappointed and that is really difficult for me.

    I'm going to scale way back on this site especially, as much as I like it. My partner is also white and it worries me sometimes that all of this interracial material I watch and read about is effecting something too.
     
  12. weaknfunny

    weaknfunny Well-Known Member

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    Try Viagra it worked with me
     
  13. GQWhiteBoi

    GQWhiteBoi Well-Known Member Real Person

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    I'm only 23 though... I shouldn't have this issue!
     
  14. weaknfunny

    weaknfunny Well-Known Member

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    Try it, when it helps once, then you won't need it. Probably ur problem is menthal and believe me it will help
     
  15. udomlya

    udomlya Well-Known Member

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    Sounds good. And don't worry about getting it up. Go down on her for the time being, if that pleases her. Tell her that you haven't been in a relationship for a while and are feeling a bit overwhelmed, yada yada. Women can be very forgiving about issues which affect the fragile male ego. Bottom line is if she knows that you are attuned to her needs and are trying to satisfy her, she will be more inclined to stay with you.
     
  16. GQWhiteBoi

    GQWhiteBoi Well-Known Member Real Person

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    You are brilliant, my good man. Seriously. Thanks so much. I will certainly keep you all updated. I hope I can fix this!
     
  17. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    GQ ... addictions are not fixed (cured) by scaling back ... you've got to walk away from it for a while. It's no different from alcoholism, drug use, etc. You can't cut your portions down to cure an ADDICTION.
    I know it will be tough ... its tough 'cause it IS an addiction. Your mind is saying "oh, we can handle this, don't worry" ... so you'll continue. You've got to quit COLD TURKEY for a pretty long while.
    Find some other hobbies to do ... take up the guitar, bowling, anything that will replace your time at looking at porn. Charity work will make you "feel good about yourself" ... try that. I'm only being "straight" on this one, 'cause I know what addiction is about. And don't be ashamed to ask for professional advice when you need support. There are porn support groups in your area, I just bet. Good luck & take care! Mac ;)
     
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  18. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    :bounce: Heck, you can't even spell it, weaknfunny, much less advise it! :bounce:
     
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  19. weaknfunny

    weaknfunny Well-Known Member

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    You idiot! I am not a native speaker of english. You are not better than anyone cuz you are just a white trash. Plus, please hold your slobber up and stop making jokes in primary school level and don't play the smart because you are not better than AVERAGE
     
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  20. bm_from_southjersey

    bm_from_southjersey Administrator Staff Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Age is irrelevant if you are having difficulties with erectile dysfunction and/or performance anxiety. Since I don't know anything about you or your lifestyle, I will just say that sometimes problems with achieving and maintaining an erection can be related to medications (some anti-depressants, for example, can have an adverse affect on libido and ability to maintain an erection) or health (overweight and/or obesity, for example).

    Mac and udomlya have posted some really good advice for you. Whatever course of action you choose to pursue, I wish you luck.
     
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