Good sex

Torpedo

Male
Gold Member
The only thing better than good sex is great sex. I can honestly say I have never had bad sex, however I have had some that was LOT better than most

I prefer long term relationship for couple of reasons. It takes more than one encounter to learn what curls a woman's toes. The other is STD's. As much as I would like to fuck any willing female, any place, any time the reality is that about a quarter of the population has some type of a chronic STD. Herpes is the most prevalent and HIV is not restricted to gay males

I belong to a group. Most of us are over 40 and we all agree to restrict out activities to the group. We all get checked out a couple of times a year. Plus there are enough members to the group to satisfy any reasonable desire of a member. The security is a major factor at least for me. If you are worrying about STD's, being caught or dealing with a crazy person it is hard to really let go and enjoy yourself.

Personally my biggest turn on is a petite redhead. Nothing gets me harder quicker. I don't smoke or do ******* so some conversation between rounds is nice so I like an intelligent well read woman. This type of woman is also likely to understand her body and her needs and my body and my needs. Sex is ALWAYS better when both people are doing their best best to pleasure each other. I tend to be dominant in bed but I do enjoy a woman that can take charge and ride me cowgirl. I have a petite little redhead that I wouldn't mind seeing more often and she is voracious in bed. When she wants it she can engulf me at will. It is a major turn on watch her buck, scream and squeal while she has her way with me.

I dislike and don't tolerate abusive behavior or name calling. Most black's in this country are descended from slaves. Those slaves were typically called by derogatory names and were mistreated. I have no desire to act like those slave owners did. I am much better than that, I also don't tolerate being called names. And I don't call other derogatory names. I understand that for some people that is a turn on and if the participants all agree then that's their business, but not in my bed.
 
The other is STD's. As much as I would like to fuck any willing female, any place, any time the reality is that about a quarter of the population has some type of a chronic STD.

Source? I wouldn't be surprised if this was true or even higher, by the way, I'm just curious. Herpes and HPV are prevalent but quite minor in the grand scheme of things, imo. I expect those two dis-eases constitute the vast majority of that otherwise seemingly daunting statistic.

Herpes is the most prevalent

... and, with all due respect, you probably have it. It's not a big deal for folks with healthy immune systems.

and HIV is not restricted to gay males

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/policies/law/risk.html

TL;DR: The risk of HIV is under 1% for everything except ******* transfusion.

I am open to other sources that suggest otherwise.

If you are worrying about STD's ... it is hard to really let go and enjoy yourself.

Agreed! Fear is not rational. I had a similar fear. But knowledge is power!

Most black's in this country are descended from slaves. Those slaves were typically called by derogatory names and were mistreated. I have no desire to act like those slave owners did. I am much better than that, I also don't tolerate being called names. And I don't call other derogatory names. I understand that for some people that is a turn on and if the participants all agree then that's their business, but not in my bed.

I mean, I respect your decision-making re: insults and what have you. That's a choice rooted in your emotional history, imo. But intellectually, this argument doesn't fly for me. If you want to talk about slavery, well, slavery is still alive and well.

As far as the well-meaning intent of the thread, I agree and respect most of the things you said. I'm not intending to be combative; this is just how the medium of text and the Internet tends to come across.

As far as good v. great sex goes, this may sound weird, but I don't particularly care. I utilize sex in a practical manner. For me, it all exists on a continuum. For where I am right now, some sex is > than no sex, health-wise. But I don't particularly care about experiencing great sex, not because I don't think it's worthwhile, but simply because I have more important priorities in my young life.

In the (somewhat near) future, exploring tantric sex is one of my main interests! And I'm extremely optimistic that will lead to mind-blowing sex.
 
STDs & safe sex are topics that aren't discussed enough here. Most posters prefer to avoid discussion of this topic because it tends to ******* the enjoyment of the site, but both my wife and I are in medical related fields that subject exposure to these diseases. We have 2 teens, we've been fairly serious when discussing sex and sexual diseases. Here in NC the schools don't expose ******* to sex & reproduction education until they're into puberty or near to it ... I think a bit too late, and the info is ridiculously watered down. I'm a salesman, by trade, and I know to convince someone of something to the point of getting them to act on it, you either have to excite them or disturb them . There's no sugar coating this topic.

There seems to be a ton of bad information and understanding floating around about STDs, even among adults. But, people who make a mission of having multiple sex partners need to understand the medical facts about these diseases, as over 80% of those with STDs don't even have symtoms of their disease, and simply pass it on to other partners. Take chlamydia, for example ... usually no signs and it attacks the cervix of a woman, eventually getting into the uterus & fallopian tubes causing infertility. Also, gonorrhea & scabies (crabs) are quite common. And yeast infections ... what woman hasn't had one of those, but did you know a man is a common carrier of this and can easily pass yeast infections, from an infected female, on to multitudes of other women? There usually are no symtoms of yeast infections on a man.

Herpes is the one I've always been afraid of ... not a death sentence, but very painful when herpes sores appear, and its incurable ... a lifetime sentence. If you're considering serious involvement with someone and you find out they have herpes, it can be a game changer 'cause that means you'll risk getting it everytime you have sex with that person.

Just saying, its not impolite/rude to ask your sex partners IF they have or have had a sexually transmitted disease, especially if its your intent to have unprotected sex with them. 'Cause sex is one of the most FUN things we have in life, and it can quickly be taken away or changed once we contact an STD like herpes.

Here are a couple links to read ... if you're having bareback sex with more than one people, you better damn well know what your risks are ...

http://www.aphroditewomenshealth.com/news/stds.shtml
http://www.sfcityclinic.org/stdbasics/stdchart.asp
 
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STDs & safe sex are topics that aren't discussed enough here.

Agreed.

I'm a salesman, by trade, and I know to convince someone of something to the point of getting them to act on it, you either have to excite them or disturb them . There's no sugar coating this topic.

I think it's unhealthy to try to manipulate someone's emotions to convince them of something. That's propaganda. That's what goes on in television and advertising.

Personally, I just want the facts. I'll make my own decision from there. And I respect other people's free will. I just want to spread awareness and, from there, let them do whatever they want. Couldn't care less what they decide.

There seems to be a ton of bad information and understanding floating around about STDs, even among adults. But, people who make a mission of having multiple sex partners need to understand the medical facts about these diseases, as over 80% of those with STDs don't even have symtoms of their disease, and simply pass it on to other partners.

Well, here's the problem with the "facts" -- there really aren't any.

The medical field is rife with propaganda and groupthink. All humans have bias, but we, the "average citizen," has been trained to buy into the authoritarian point of view of the medical institution.

Take my source, for example: The CDC. Centers of Disease Control sounds like a great source, right? But there are a lot of details we don't know about. What was the sample size? The health status of the individuals? The socioeconomic status of individuals in the study? And that's just off my head!

So where do you get the 80% number from? What is the sample size? Who funded the study?

I come from a psychological background, and for many years I took all sorts of "studies" at face value. But then I realized it's tremendously difficult to separate bias in your studies. And that even having a study that strictly follows the scientific method is still limited, as it simply can't answer certain questions adequately.

Here's a great article that expands on what I'm talking about:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/11/lies-damned-lies-and-medical-science/308269/

Herpes is the one I've always been afraid of ... not a death sentence, but very painful when herpes sores appear, and its incurable ... a lifetime sentence. If you're considering serious involvement with someone and you find out they have herpes, it can be a game changer 'cause that means you'll risk getting it everytime you have sex with that person.

Condoms don't do much of anything to stop herpes, though.

Herpes has been around for thousands of years. The knowledge I've been exposed (tee hee) to on the subject has told me many things: that if you've ever had a cold sore, you have herpes and are a carrier for it -- it's the same virus; when it's inactive it lies latent in your nerve cells, so it won't even show up on many STD tests; and a healthy immune system suppresses it the vast majority of the time (stress seems to be one of the primary triggers).


From your very own link:

"For example, it’s estimated that one in four people have genital herpes, but up to 90 percent of these people are not aware they even have it, due to the infection not presenting itself in the usual form of sores or lesions. "

Do the math. How many partners have you had sex with? If one in four people have herpes have it, then what are the odds you have it?

But wait: that link is nothing but scare tactics. Why isn't it telling me anything like infection rates? How long is an infected person contagious? What's the latent period before symptoms (if any) show? How quickly will a test show a true positive after infection?

And where are the links to the sources? I'm talking about direct links to the medical abstracts, so I can read for myself the methodology of the studies. Think I'm just being pedantic? Read Lies, Damned Lies, and get back to me. These are questions any "authority" should be able to answer.

And the most important question of all: who's funding these studies?

I don't want you to think I'm just picking on STDs or the medical field. I'm not some young dummy who just wants to live in denial, reject anything he disagrees with and go raw with everyone. I value my health over everything; you probably wouldn't believe the lengths I go through. I take precautions and get tested every 2-3 months.

These are questions I've learned to ask in every field of science. Groupthink, bias and shoddy methodology are a plague. It's unbelievably difficult to find reliable sources, and to go around tossing around "facts," living in the self-deception that you "know," when in reality the only thing you should know is that you don't know, is, in my opinion, fraudulent.
 
I debated for a couple of days whether to start this threat or not. When I finally decided to do it everything was extemporaneous, I just typed what came into my thoughts and when I was done I posted it. I have to say that I am really pleased at the direction the thread has taken. There is some good thoughtful conversation about things that need good thoughtful conversation
 
... Well, here's the problem with the "facts" -- there really aren't any.

The medical field is rife with propaganda and groupthink. All humans have bias, but we, the "average citizen," has been trained to buy into the authoritarian point of view of the medical institution.

I come from a psychological background, and for many years I took all sorts of "studies" at face value. But then I realized it's tremendously difficult to separate bias in your studies. And that even having a study that strictly follows the scientific method is still limited, as it simply can't answer certain questions adequately.

Condoms don't do much of anything to stop herpes, though.

Herpes has been around for thousands of years. The knowledge I've been exposed (tee hee) to on the subject has told me many things: that if you've ever had a cold sore, you have herpes and are a carrier for it -- it's the same virus; when it's inactive it lies latent in your nerve cells, so it won't even show up on many STD tests; and a healthy immune system suppresses it the vast majority of the time (stress seems to be one of the primary triggers).

These are questions I've learned to ask in every field of science. Groupthink, bias and shoddy methodology are a plague. It's unbelievably difficult to find reliable sources, and to go around tossing around "facts," living in the self-deception that you "know," when in reality the only thing you should know is that you don't know, is, in my opinion, fraudulent.

NowaDaze, I don't mean to sound argumentative, as you seem sincere and obviously took time to post your comment, but lets clear something regarding our sources, first. My information comes from the Journal of American Medical Assoc., the American Social Health Assoc., and from US Census Records. These sources don't manufacture data ... they record it. You used an article written by David H Freedman ( a general journalist in business & technology ) who's known mostly for his writings on computer hacking and artificial intelligence. And, he gets paid a salary for writing his articles. Now, I don't know about you, but when it comes to discussing diseases, especially sexual diseases, I'll tend to lean more to my sources than the one you've chosen to refute mine.

Your comments regarding herpes is a good example of not knowing the facts. The only way a person gets herpes is by direct skin to skin contact. A couple, where one has an active herpes, can diminish (not 100% avoid) the chances of skin to skin contact by using condoms. On men, its obviously visible when a herpes sore is present, however, on females its not, as the active sore can be internal. I might also add, that even when the herpes sore is not active, there is something called "scaling" which follows the healing of the sore. One should avoid sexual contact (use condoms) during the pre-herpes state (itching & tingling) all the way to the end of the scaling period, which is a couple weeks following the healing phase.

You say there is only one herpes ... "false" ... there are several kinds, all herpes type viruses, yes, but NOT the same. Our discussion was relative to genital herpes, which is Simplex Virus, Type II, which involves the genitals, obviously. But, there is Simplex Virus, Type I (oral mouth sores), Ocular herpes (eyes), and Whitlow (nails).
Think of them as similar to the various flu bugs ... lots of different flu bugs out there, but not the same symptoms & treatments for them. Or use you and me as examples ... both humans (I think, lol), but you're a black man, and I'm a white man ... but both members of the human race. We could toss in black females, or white females, or Asian females, etc ... but all of us members of the human race. And yes, herpes can be transferred from genital to mouth & vice versa by having oral sex. Another good reason to ask random sex partners that STD history question.

I choose the articles I show here because there is a lot of condensed data which gives readers a broader understanding of the risks associated with having bareback, multiple sex partners. Of course these STD issues aren't often discussed; that's because their discussion KILLS THE FUN of the fantasy of this forum, but reality is reality. As Torpedo said, this is a subject that deserves addressing & discussing occasionally.

Here's another source to look at ... some important info. from the Huffingtonpost. And no, I don't have their survey samples ... I'm sure they got theirs from a reliable source, however.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/16/std-facts_n_1282151.html

Peace & love, man ...
Mac
 
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NowaDaze, I don't mean to sound argumentative, as you seem sincere and obviously took time to post your comment, but lets clear something regarding our sources, first. My information comes from the Journal of American Medical Assoc., the American Social Health Assoc., and from US Census Records. These sources don't manufacture data ... they record it.

Let's make this short.

First of all, did you even read the article I linked to?

I note you question the writer's authority. That doesn't move me. Why not question the article? It's largely about Ioannidis. Why don't you question his authority?

That question has been central to Ioannidis’s career. He’s what’s known as a meta-researcher, and he’s become one of the world’s foremost experts on the credibility of medical research. He and his team have shown, again and again, and in many different ways, that much of what biomedical researchers conclude in published studies—conclusions that doctors keep in mind when they prescribe antibiotics or *******-pressure medication, or when they advise us to consume more fiber or less meat, or when they recommend surgery for heart disease or back pain—is misleading, exaggerated, and often flat-out wrong. He charges that as much as 90 percent of the published medical information that doctors rely on is flawed. His work has been widely accepted by the medical community; it has been published in the field’s top journals, where it is heavily cited; and he is a big draw at conferences. Given this exposure, and the fact that his work broadly targets everyone else’s work in medicine, as well as everything that physicians do and all the health advice we get, Ioannidis may be one of the most influential scientists alive. Yet for all his influence, he worries that the field of medical research is so pervasively flawed, and so riddled with conflicts of interest, that it might be chronically resistant to change—or even to publicly admitting that there’s a problem.

Emphasis mine.

Your comments regarding herpes is a good example of not knowing the facts.

Despite your best (?) attempt not to sound argumentative, you sound quite argumentative. And here's why:

When I was right, you conveniently ignored it.

When I could not be proven wrong, you conveniently ignored it.

You say there is only one herpes ... "false" ...

Okay, I was wrong. Minor quibble. Same family of virus.

Was I false when I said it lies latent in your nerve cells? -rolls eyes- Oh, and how about the questions I asked? No comment?

If you cannot or choose not to directly address them, it makes you sound intellectually dishonest when you only choose to directly answer what you feel you have a good handle on.

That's exactly what I mean when I talk about a systemic groupthink bias.

I'll repeat:

What was the sample size? The health status of the individuals? The socioeconomic status of individuals in the study?

So where do you get the 80% number from? Who funded the study?

[...]

... infection rates? How long is an infected person contagious? What's the latent period before symptoms (if any) show? How quickly will a test show a true positive after infection?

And where are the links to the sources? I'm talking about direct links to the medical abstracts, so I can read for myself the methodology of the studies.

Your response was, in my opinion, a whole lot of appeal to authority. I understand and respect if you aren't the one to answer these questions.

Like I said earlier, I don't care what you choose or not choose. I am well aware I could be wrong. I don't mind that, either. What works for me and what works for you are two different things which I do not necessarily care to branch.

The reason I participated in this thread was on the possibility I would be presented with primary sources and could learn something new. I'm still waiting. Do you have links to abstracts? The methodology? Without seeing those two things, all one can hope to do is buy or sell the interpretation from whatever your second-hand source is.

-shrugs-
 
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Ah, sarcasm, a dish best served cold! I'm guilty of this as well, sometimes. Enjoy it! ;)

GIFsarcasm3.gif
 
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Aren't we getting a bit off topic here? Maybe the moderators should weigh in. I think the important thing is that STD's are an issue for all sexually active people. Debating methodology in arriving at the correct number of infected people I think is irrelevant to the conversation. Helping people make good decisions so they don't get infected is relevant
 
Aren't we getting a bit off topic here? Maybe the moderators should weigh in. I think the important thing is that STD's are an issue for all sexually active people. Debating methodology in arriving at the correct number of infected people I think is irrelevant to the conversation. Helping people make good decisions so they don't get infected is relevant

I thought the same, Torpedo, but then you see the point where it went SOUTH ... sometimes people are just spoiling for confrontation. I thought my first responses were well thought out and informational, instead I basically get called a liar and told my posts are pointless without survey data, etc. Sorry! Mac
 
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Arguing over the methodology and statistics and who's beats who's is all fine and dandy.

That there are no accurate numbers because everything is under reported and everyone is making estimates based on what little real data there is isn't really that important.

Bottom line is: there's bugs out there which get spread via sexual activity that can do really bad ******* to you and the people you may pass it on to if you get one.

What the odds are that you will get something no one really knows, but it's like winning the lottery: you can't win unless you buy a ticket, but if you buy a ticket, regardless of the mathematics, you will either win or you won't, and eventually someone does win.

If you don't want a bug, don't have sex with strangers. If you don't want to pass a bug on to your *******, don't have sex with strangers.

If you are going to have sex with strangers accept that even if you use condoms or whatever you could still get a bug and, while you are at it, you may as well buy a lottery ticket because lightning often does strike twice and all those ******* are expensive.
 
Handsome, 5'8" Jamaican/African guy from Minnesota(MidWest) looking to dominate sexy white women. Married or single women, i don’t mind. Would love a freaky white babe to fuck, suck, lick and eat. Any serious inquiries please contact me @ jyork6573@hotmail .com or IM me @ zorpon@yahoo.com
 
That there are no accurate numbers because everything is under reported and everyone is making estimates based on what little real data there is isn't really that important.

If you don't want a bug, don't have sex with strangers. If you don't want to pass a bug on to your *******, don't have sex with strangers.

If you are going to have sex with strangers accept that even if you use condoms or whatever you could still get a bug and, while you are at it, you may as well buy a lottery ticket because lightning often does strike twice and all those ******* are expensive.

Word.

I thought the same, Torpedo, but then you see the point where it went SOUTH ... sometimes people are just spoiling for confrontation. I thought my first responses were well thought out and informational, instead I basically get called a liar and told my posts are pointless without survey data, etc. Sorry! Mac

With all due respect, don't flatter yourself. My words are very direct and specific, intentionally written in such a way as to minimize, as much as possible, any implications or judgements. As a result, I feel any thing you're interpreting ("basically get called a liar") is, therefore, your own perception, which by definition is obviously subjective.

I didn't "basically" call you anything. I didn't tell you your post was pointless. I gave you my perspective, as objectively as I could. Unfortunately, due to the symbolic nature of language, something is always lost in translation. If this was in person, you'd know by the detached nature of my voice.

You're simply choosing to color it in with all your own undue interpretations. That's your prerogative, just as it is mine to clarify your such perception as nothing more than your own subjective reality.
 
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I think this is a great discussion and as such should stay on topic as Torpedo mentioned. I like the spirit of Torpedo's original post and agree with MacNFries that the topic is not discussed enough. Yes, we are engaging in risky behavior anytime we become promiscuous (whether your partner knows or not) and yes anything can happen. But the best defense is knowledge, know how to take care of yourself to protect others. I have recently done quit a bit of internet research on the risks associated with unprotected oral sex and would like others to chime in with their thoughts/views/concerns as well whether it is with someone from a group of people you know (as in Torpedo's example) or random guys.
 
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