As the forums on this site are basically adult/sex related, it is also obvious that many things you will read here are based on sexual fantasies. However it is never a bad idea to also add some realism and "wisdom".
i will keep this short and concise (hopefully)... There are a few "rules", or let's better call those "best practices" that have turned out to be a great help for couples in this or actually any lifestyle of consensual, ethic non-monogamy. They are definitely worth knowing and following in order to avoid complications and live the lifestyle to its best advantage and full potential, not only for couples new to this life. But doing things well right from the start is better than having to find out about possible mistakes the hard way.
Even though i am going to use numbering, there is no particular order and ideally all of those practices shall be applied by both partners at any time!
#1: Build an environment in which it is totally normal for both of you to converse openly. This means you are honest with your partner, without hiding anything, but also trustworthy enough to be able to keep a secret. Keep private between the two of you what is a private matter. (Having those "naughty little secrets" you share with each other but nobody else is also helping you with establishing a strong bond between you. ) It also means you constantly give your partner the feeling that there is not one thing they do or say honestly that you will look down upon, ridicule or laugh about, no matter how strange or weird it may seem at first glance. Always value your partner's inputs! Being attentive to your partner's ideas, needs and wishes is what creates trust which is so necessary to in turn create that environment for open communication that is essential for an "open lifestyle", well, maybe even for any lifestyle and good relationship. 
Or is it?
#2: You're in this together. That means consensus is given by both partners. Also worth knowing is that consensus can be taken back by any partner at any time, if something in your arrangement starts feeling uncomfortible! You love your partner and do not want to hurt her/his feelings, right?
To sum it up: YES means yes, only if both partners consent. NO means no, if one partner objects! That goes for any activity or part thereof. And both partners take care that they will always follow this. Hint: Caring for your partner's opinions and her/his feelings is what builds trust and trust is what you wish for in your relationship and lifestyle. Also, once that trust has been established, your partner will be more open to broaden the scope of your activities. This also means you will typically be able to go deeper in whatever direction you wish to take your journey.
#3: You're in this together. That also means you cannot legitimately blame your partner for the lifestyle or any part of it. You are responsible for it and any outcome it may create just the same as your partner is! While it is quite normal in every good relationship to be able to grow which usually involves having and working out arguments and struggles sometimes, this is VERY important: Never, NEVER ever use your shared lifestyle or any part of it against your partner in an argument! Also, and just as important: NEVER call your partner derogatory names for whatever s|he does or did in your shared lifestyle!
#4: Create a set of "rules" and boundaries! Communicate those in a simple language so that they are not easily misunderstood. Write them down, if you feel it will be helpful. It is essential that you know exactly what both of you expect from your journey, each of your nust-haves and no-gos. Follow those at any time. If you feel like they need to be changed sit down your partner and "renegotiate". But also know that everybody makes mistakes sometimes - it's only human. Openly talk about those too when they happen. Even though it's not always easy, try to be understanding and more forgiving of your partner's mistakes than your own. Also have rules and boundaries discussed and agreed upon before you become active with any third party as well, and respect them (theirs as much as you want them to respect yours)!
#5: Practice safer sex! It's understood that bareback sex is (much) hotter and feels (way) better than using a condom. However you should know that there are risks and those are real and in an extreme case may even be life-threatening or affect your fertility. Not only that but also those don't follow linear growth but grow exponentially with the number of partners you have! Only drop using condoms with a partner you know well and trust and who is "clean" (was recently, i.e. two to three weeks ago, negatively tested against the most prevalent STDs in your country or area - or that of your play partner's origin - with proof). Play it fair and get tested yourselves, both of you, and for transparency also show your test results to your play partner. You do not want to catch anything that has a potential to ruin your lifestyle or future. Understand that you are not alone in this and - in the most common case - you're also risking that of your partner, the one you love! Protect yourself from an unwanted pregnancy, if necessary, by viable means of your choice!
Those were the most common "best practices" that came to my mind first. i hope this info is helpful to any of you (starting or experienced) in this lifestyle!
Regards. Have fun & enjoy your lives as good as you possibly can.
Together!
Feel free to comment and/or add your own ideas and/or experiences - the good and the bad ones - for us to learn from.
Thank you.
i will keep this short and concise (hopefully)... There are a few "rules", or let's better call those "best practices" that have turned out to be a great help for couples in this or actually any lifestyle of consensual, ethic non-monogamy. They are definitely worth knowing and following in order to avoid complications and live the lifestyle to its best advantage and full potential, not only for couples new to this life. But doing things well right from the start is better than having to find out about possible mistakes the hard way.
Even though i am going to use numbering, there is no particular order and ideally all of those practices shall be applied by both partners at any time!
#1: Build an environment in which it is totally normal for both of you to converse openly. This means you are honest with your partner, without hiding anything, but also trustworthy enough to be able to keep a secret. Keep private between the two of you what is a private matter. (Having those "naughty little secrets" you share with each other but nobody else is also helping you with establishing a strong bond between you.
) It also means you constantly give your partner the feeling that there is not one thing they do or say honestly that you will look down upon, ridicule or laugh about, no matter how strange or weird it may seem at first glance. Always value your partner's inputs! Being attentive to your partner's ideas, needs and wishes is what creates trust which is so necessary to in turn create that environment for open communication that is essential for an "open lifestyle", well, maybe even for any lifestyle and good relationship. Or is it?#2: You're in this together. That means consensus is given by both partners. Also worth knowing is that consensus can be taken back by any partner at any time, if something in your arrangement starts feeling uncomfortible! You love your partner and do not want to hurt her/his feelings, right?
To sum it up: YES means yes, only if both partners consent. NO means no, if one partner objects! That goes for any activity or part thereof. And both partners take care that they will always follow this. Hint: Caring for your partner's opinions and her/his feelings is what builds trust and trust is what you wish for in your relationship and lifestyle. Also, once that trust has been established, your partner will be more open to broaden the scope of your activities. This also means you will typically be able to go deeper in whatever direction you wish to take your journey.
#3: You're in this together. That also means you cannot legitimately blame your partner for the lifestyle or any part of it. You are responsible for it and any outcome it may create just the same as your partner is! While it is quite normal in every good relationship to be able to grow which usually involves having and working out arguments and struggles sometimes, this is VERY important: Never, NEVER ever use your shared lifestyle or any part of it against your partner in an argument! Also, and just as important: NEVER call your partner derogatory names for whatever s|he does or did in your shared lifestyle!
#4: Create a set of "rules" and boundaries! Communicate those in a simple language so that they are not easily misunderstood. Write them down, if you feel it will be helpful. It is essential that you know exactly what both of you expect from your journey, each of your nust-haves and no-gos. Follow those at any time. If you feel like they need to be changed sit down your partner and "renegotiate".
But also know that everybody makes mistakes sometimes - it's only human. Openly talk about those too when they happen. Even though it's not always easy, try to be understanding and more forgiving of your partner's mistakes than your own. Also have rules and boundaries discussed and agreed upon before you become active with any third party as well, and respect them (theirs as much as you want them to respect yours)!#5: Practice safer sex! It's understood that bareback sex is (much) hotter and feels (way) better than using a condom. However you should know that there are risks and those are real and in an extreme case may even be life-threatening or affect your fertility. Not only that but also those don't follow linear growth but grow exponentially with the number of partners you have! Only drop using condoms with a partner you know well and trust and who is "clean" (was recently, i.e. two to three weeks ago, negatively tested against the most prevalent STDs in your country or area - or that of your play partner's origin - with proof). Play it fair and get tested yourselves, both of you, and for transparency also show your test results to your play partner. You do not want to catch anything that has a potential to ruin your lifestyle or future. Understand that you are not alone in this and - in the most common case - you're also risking that of your partner, the one you love! Protect yourself from an unwanted pregnancy, if necessary, by viable means of your choice!
Those were the most common "best practices" that came to my mind first. i hope this info is helpful to any of you (starting or experienced) in this lifestyle!
Regards. Have fun & enjoy your lives as good as you possibly can.
Together!Feel free to comment and/or add your own ideas and/or experiences - the good and the bad ones - for us to learn from.
Thank you.
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