Give up or power through?

[lOCalcpl]

Quick back story. I have been a member of this site for some time now as this has been a fantasy of mine for some time now. I am engaged to a beautiful woman whom I would love to see fuck a big black man. I have brought the topic up many times in the past and any interest she has ever shown was simply because she loves me and did not want to say "No". I have essentially given up as I don't want to continue pestering her to fuck another man. The fantasy persists, however and I cannot seem to let it go.

Have any of you couples gone through similar stages of reluctance at first? How were you able to overcome that reluctance and do you have any regrets today? Any help or guidance would be appreciated.

PS. She doesn't watch porn and showing her a huge dick is not going to do anything either.

 

[MacNfries]

A few things come to mind right off top:

• It's possibly a "timing issue" as much as anything. She's engaged to marry you; she's not going to chance doing anything that might screw that up. It'll become more approachable after a year or so of marriage.
• Sexual fantasies are "personal" ... she may not share an interest in YOUR fantasies. Have the 2 of you ever intimately shared your deepest, sexual fantasies with each other? Again, its a timing issue with the engagement and all, so she may be reluctant to share those fantasies until later. But, eventually you may be able to share those and then possibly agree to help each other fulfill them.
• Realize that men and women approach situations differently. I really encourage you to read the paperback book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". If nothing else, go on-line and read the overviews of the various chapters. Its an old book that still holds a tremendous amount of clarity to the difference in the way men and women think.

It helps to build a solid foundation before dwelling on the primary topic. Often things are accomplished more quickly if you take small steps. Mac

 

[Orion Pax]

Good advice Mac. Some of these here just don't seem to get it.

 

[TexasCuck214]

Just like Mac said, I think the time between your engagement and your wedding is the worst possible time that you can make this happen. A couple things that you can try to do though:
-Spend less money at the wedding, and more on the honeymoon. This is where any potential action is more likely to happen anyway.
-Say nice thing about black men around her. But this is not an easy thing to do at a time when some famous black people are date ******* women, and beating their wives, and the media is all over it.
-Remind her that your dick is small, you don't think you can last long enough to satisfy her, etc. Even if it is not true, self-deprication may steer her in a new direction.

 

[Orion Pax]

Date ******* really? He sold his sold to the devil and it time for him to pay the price.

 

[lOCalcpl]

A few things come to mind right off tope:

• It's possibly a "timing issue" as much as anything. She's engaged to marry you; she's not going to chance doing anything that might screw that up. It'll become more approachable after a year or so of marriage

It helps to build a solid foundation before dwelling on the primary topic. Often things are accomplished more quickly if you take small steps. Mac

I cannot believe I had not considered this part. It makes sense and although we do have a very solid foundation, it would make sense to wait until after. It seems like many couples, if not most, are at least a couple years into a marriage before jumping into this stuff. Good tip. Thank you

 

[Lanie4BBC]

I know I tend to be the contrarian here because I don't quite get the whole cuck thing - even though, I have to admit, I play just a bit of a female cuck for my own GF....

If you step outside the environment here, which is one of those internet hothouses where the unusual (or worse) may seem normal because everyone HERE is into it, it worries me that you seem so focused if not even a bit obsessed about getting your fiancee' and soon to be wife into it!!! You have a woman who loves you and wants to spend her whole life with you, and is NOT interested in other men - I know plenty of girls and guys, including in relationships and marriages, who would ******* for that their partner to be that exclusively-minded!!!

In terms of practical suggestions...and thanks to those who've chipped in with them...I agree with the others who've already suggested letting this drop until after you're married, and the relationship has matured more. If your girl's at all into toys - and it sounds like she might just not be too adventuresome, unfortunately - you could start off trying to get her to play with some smaller black toys, dildos or even just anal plugs (a lot of very useful toys like that, come in a choice of pink or black, especially if you check online, and black is a better matching color for anal play anyway - did I just sound like an interior designer, LOL?!). If she's really not adventuresome, and not even into experimenting with a bit of anal play, then you're stuck - and that may be a sign that kinkier things are not going to fly, either. If it was me it was me - and I do have some experience corrupting girls to my kinky ways and plans - I'd try the small anal toys for a bit of stimulation...which girls usually like...and then work up to trying simulated double penetration with a large anal plug or small black dildo, telling her that you like it when it's really tight (get big enough back there, and it does press against the vaginal tunnel)...which girls often like, too, I can tell you that being stuffed back there makes a dick or a dildo hit my G-spot all that much harder, and sends me...which is also what a BBC by itself does Maybe you can slowly work up to the idea...and the pleasure...or maybe not, and again, that itself will tell you something.

In the bigger picture, and given the present reality, I'll say that if your girl was into this, I'd have your back - though I'd warn you to be just a bit careful. Given that she's not, I would suggest you consider talking to someone about why you're so focused if not obsessed, about pushing something that could damage your relationship and marriage - or worse.

Lanie

p.s. It's also a bit misleading if your username is for a couple, but it's really just you. Have I started to piss you the fuck off yet?

 

[lOCalcpl]

In the bigger picture, and given the present reality, I'll say that if your girl was into this, I'd have your back - though I'd warn you to be just a bit careful. Given that she's not, I would suggest you consider talking to someone about why you're so focused if not obsessed, about pushing something that could damage your relationship and marriage - or worse.

Lanie


If you read the post I am not certain how you could have the impression I am obsessive on the subject unless you have a very lose definition of the phrase. It is something I am aroused by and it is something I have spoken with her about often and in different ways but it has been a good 5 months since I last brought up the idea to her. I also stated I was not interested in pestering her further.

The purpose of the post was to hear from any couples that had been in a similar situation and eventually found their way into the life and if they had any regrets. I appreciate the other suggestion you made, however seeing as how you obviously do not fall into this category, you are kinda useless to me.

 

[Lanie4BBC]

If you read the post I am not certain how you could have the impression I am obsessive on the subject unless you have a very lose definition of the phrase. It is something I am aroused by and it is something I have spoken with her about often and in different ways but it has been a good 5 months since I last brought up the idea to her. I also stated I was not interested in pestering her further.

The purpose of the post was to hear from any couples that had been in a similar situation and eventually found their way into the life and if they had any regrets. I appreciate the other suggestion you made, however seeing as how you obviously do not fall into this category, you are kinda useless to me.

Fair enough.

You do write that you have "brought the topic up many times in the past" and that "The fantasy persists, however and I cannot seem to let it go". Perhaps you overstate that and/or I overinterpret it, but a persistent fantasy that risks negatively impacting real-life relationships, at least starts to edge towards some definitions.

And, I do write, as part of a couple where I've had to deal with some related, if not entirely similar, issues...successfully, I'll add, though not without some trials and tribulations, and maybe some risk to the relationship that may even be ongoing...with me in the more typically masculine role of instigator.

HTH

Lanie
Girl Cuck

 

[lOCalcpl]

Fair enough.

You do write that you have "brought the topic up many times in the past" and that "The fantasy persists, however and I cannot seem to let it go". Perhaps you overstate that and/or I overinterpret it, but a persistent fantasy that risks negatively impacting real-life relationships, at least starts to edge towards some definitions.

And, I do write, as part of a couple where I've had to deal with some related, if not entirely similar, issues...successfully, I'll add, though not without some trials and tribulations, and maybe some risk to the relationship that may even be ongoing...with me in the more typically masculine role of instigator.

HTH

Lanie
Girl Cuck

Fair enough. I see your point.

 

[MacNfries]

Females have real problems with the "cuckold" idea, as it simply makes no sense to their female way of thinking that their man would want them fucking other men while their men remain faithful. But, females approach and manage relationships differently than their counterpart males and there are several reasons why. Again, I'm not trying to push the book, but John Gray's "Men Are From Mars, Women Are ... " is excellent in pointing & explaining all this out. Once you read the first chapter of the book I swear you won't want to put it down. My wife read it years ago while we were laying out on the beach during vacation and kept sharing parts of the book with me until she got me interested in it. If nothing else, go on-line and read an outline of the book.
Mac