Getting her into sharing

fin89

Male
So a short summary of me and my girlfriend.. We are in our mid 20s and have been together for 5 years. She hasn't been with another guy as I was her first. We have a great relationship but she has admitted that she regrets not having fun and experimenting before she met me and thinks the idea of only having sex with one person in your whole life is depressing. I have secretly had this fetish of showing her off / having her do stuff with other guys for years but just recently mentioned it to her when she was talking about the previous thing. She is kind of up tight in normal life but she said that the idea is interesting. She has also told me, when i've tried to get out of her what types of things turn her on, that the idea of bdsm or "blackmail" is exciting since she is normally just going to wuss out of doing anything that would be a rush.

That is basically where we are. She seems like she would be interested in some or all of those things but I don't really know where to start. I don't think we have any friends that we wouldn't feel weird about her hooking up with. I also dont know how good of an idea it would be to just find a guy on craigslist or some dating site. She's said maybe we could start slowly with something other than just straight up sex with someone else but I don't really know what that would be. Have any of you had any experiences like that that would be considered "light" sharing / showing?

Suggestions?
 
fin89, you stated your current situation quite well. One of the first steps, I think, would be to uncover her sexual fantasies and head in that direction. If it includes another man, that's good, if it includes a black man, that's even better IF that is your ultimate goal. I'm thinking, however, you start with her having conversations with others, and getting use to suggestive conversations and touches from others. I'm sure she's curious, if you're her only "love" ... so this is a major step for the 2 of you. It also gives you a chance to see how you will react to her being around other men.
Just be cautioned, that because she does have such limited experience, it'll be easy to fall into infatuations with other men. Always be by her side, and reassure her every step of the way that you're cool with what she does.
Go clubbing, and allow her to dance and have conversations with other men. That might be a good start at finding a suitable man. Good luck and I hope you'll keep the forum posted on your progress. Mac
 
We have both decided that if we were to do something like this they would have to be one offs with someone from a party or a bar or something rather than a regular guy. I don't like the idea of her just having a second guy that she regularly sees and forms a relationship with. For her, it's more about the experiences than needing extra ongoing sexual satisfaction.

So do you think taking her to a bar (like a cl with dancing, not a dive) would be a good first step? We could keep our distance from each other so she looks single and just see who flirts with her.

Also, let me say she is hot. She runs and is in good shape. Guys will notice her.
 
Actually, I think you'd be better served if the two of you developed your outside friendships together, and allow a friendship to develop, rather than randomly choosing a stranger to "be lucky" with your woman. You're in no rush, or shouldn't be, since she's so inexperienced and all. Allow both of you to feel comfortable with who you ultimately choose.

Have you decided, already, that her first experience with another man should be a black man? If she's comfortable with that, it's cool, however, that's a first Big Step for her ... new man + crossing racial line.

The key is to move slowly, allow a friendship to develop, and go from there. Once your friendship is developed, casually mention that you're wanting to fulfill one of your fantasies. If the friendship has developed, I can't see it a problem.
pic_twocentsWorth2.jpg Mac
 
If there are swingers clubs in your area, that might be a good start as well. You can be in a safe environment and if something happens, great. If nothing happens, at least you two got to be around others naked and seen others naked. It is a start.

Finding a guy on Craigslist is not always a bad thing either. She has sex with someone else, you both have the experience, it is a one off thing, and you can see from there if going forward is what you both want. You have to start somewhere.
 
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