THIS IS A HUGELY IMPORTANT QUESTION
This is one of the issues I face all the time, both from the perspective of answering this for the guys I invite and for myself.
The short answer is: It entails a lot of trust.
Medium answer: Everyone knows to keep mfm and gangbang participation on the d/l. It's the code.
Full answer:
I have a LOT of guys who flake on my hookup night invitations, which sucks for me because I don't get opportunities to play as often as I'd like, and sucks for them because most *don't intend to flake* but get freaked out at the last minute by issues such as this. How do I know? They communicate later and apologize and explain, and
THIS IS THE MOST FREQUENT REASON FOR FLAKING. They all ask for a one-on-one after having flaked on a gangbang invite night. They were intimidated by the prospect of being identifiable to the other guys (or in some cases, performing in front of them).
Keep in mind, my husband takes a ton of pics of my play episodes. They trust us. Everyone trusts that he'll redact their faces (except for some studs who *want* their faces shown as proof of conquest
and we've never violated that trust and wont.
AND DON'T FORGET ...We often host at our house, and my diploma and other awards are hanging up just as you have them hanging in your house. And I use my real name in person. I put a GIANT AMOUNT OF TRUST into the guys we meet.
I have never had a man break the privacy code.
* Please forgive my use of caps. I'm not trying to yell; merely to draw the eye to important parts on an admittedly long post.
** BTW, I decline one-on-one hookups these days. I enjoy being tag teamed more than straight sex. I can get straight sex from my husband (whom I enjoy). And when I invite multiple men, if one or two flake I still get to play. Not so with one-on-ones, in which a no-show ruins my night. So it's crucial to my play that guys are okay with being around other guys.