For Husbands who are serious about wanting to start in the lifestyle


Gold Member
Here is some advice for couples where the husband wants to "try new things" but maybe hasn't told the other yet. I am offering up some advice since we've been married 25 years yet I still remember the first time I brought up the word" swing" to my wife.

Start slow- Do not go straight to " I want you being gangbanged by BBC". Odds are she thinks BBC is that network from the UK

Bring fantasies into sex, play games role play and see if they are receptive to that. That will lead to conversations as time goes on. You can get a bit more extreme while playing and find limits that way.

Alcohol helps at first :)

Never party with a close friend. Even though it seems like a great idea, when you start out, there is some...not jealousy but you will wonder if he was better than you, is he bigger, does she want to hook up with him alone etc

You have to trust 110%. If there is any doubt in your wife and her fidelity, it will never work. Even the most trusting at first, "wonder" see above

Start slow, soft swinging works for some. Let her get touched if you're out meeting someone in public. The hand under the skirt etc is a great way. Kissing s a very personal thing at first that helps a lot. That helps find her comfort level and yours.

Why did I post this? I see tons and tons and tons of posts about "want to make my wife a slutwife". That doesn't happen overnight, except in Fantasyland or dreams. If you want to stay married, play and try new things...take it slow. Talk about your fantasies and never make them do something you want just to make yourself happy.

How do I know? Trust me, there are a few things Ive learned over the years. I made mistakes but that''s how you do it or one way and what worked for us.
If you can afford it, Hedonism 2 in Negril Jamaica is the perfect place to start. That's where we did and now go twice a year for 7 days. October is a great month but all are really. You get a resort that is nudists and swingers, all the BBC your wife could want plus more, and like minded people so you don't have to play it cool in front of others.

If you are new or want to get started, feel free to mail us. We know so many couple that divorced over something that s fun for both because they went too fast or did something stupid. Keep in mind, this is ONLY based on our experience. There are other ways but this worked out great for us and hope it helps someone else.

Have a great weekend and good luck