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Feelings Toward Hubby

For the longest time I was okay with my husband being a cuckold, allowing men to live with us and allowing me to have sex as often as I wanted with as many guys as I wanted. I still have sex as often as I can, but I have lost a lot of respect for my husband.

When I look at my husband now, this is what I see . . .
I have never really minded that my husband's penis is too small for intercourse, because I have a live-in lover as well as several other lovers, and we go to an adult theater on Friday nights where I get fucked by any number of men. Yet, him wearing a cock cage now and wanting me to spank him. Well, that has changed things.

A few days ago, when I was trying to figure out how to put the cock cage on my husband, he tried to help me. I slapped his face so hard that he fell on to the bed and then on to the floor. To him it was a surprise. To me it was liberating.

I found that I really liked being able to slap his face and have him fall to the floor. When he tried to get up I stepped on his cock and told him that what he'd done was unacceptable, and that he needed to be punished.

When my husband stood up, his balls were pushed out because of the ring that goes with/on the chastity devise. I got out a brush and slapped his balls, pretty hard. He didn't say anything. He just stood there, in pain. I told him to say ouch, but he didn't. He just stood there in silence. Because he remained silent, and didn't do as I told him to, I slapped his balls with the brush again, this time much harder. This time tears came to his eyes.

As tears rolled down my husband's cheeks, I asked him if he wanted me to slap his balls again. Again he said nothing. I have never heard the word no out of my husband's mouth, and now would have been a really good time to do so, but he remained silent in his tears.

Because my husband remained silent, I slapped his balls with the brush again, several times. I perceived my husband's silence as disrespectful. My husband has begged me to take control of our relationship and promised if I did that he would obey me. Well, he didn't. And that pissed me off.

Before going to the adult theater last night, we stopped at the adult toy store/arcade connected to the theater. My husband was wearing his chastity device and I was in need of a new vibrator. I was asking the female attendant what she would suggest, and told her that my husband had a small penis and was wearing a chastity device. My husband likes other people to know he has a small penis, and now knowing that other people know he is in chastity.

The female attendant asked me if we were going to play as well, in the theater. I told her yes, and she said a lot of guys had asked if we'd shown up yet. That made me happy. The attendant told me that maybe we ought to do the shopping later because the theater was pretty full of men who were waiting for me. I asked the attendant if she wanted to see my husband's cage. She told me that she'd seen too many little cocks and wasn't interested.

When we walked into the main theater, I noticed the attendant had been right. It was packed with horny men. And I was definitely in the mood for some big cocks. This is how me and my husband spend our date nights. My husband wore shorts and I had him take them off. Once everyone got to see that my husband was locked up, I told my husband to sit and stay. I then took off my dress, laid a towel on the floor in front of the front row, laid down, put on my blindfold, spread my legs and told all the men to have fun.

Within a few seconds I felt a nice sized cock enter me and another nice sized cock touch my lips. I knew it was going to be a good night. My husband usually chooses who gets to fuck me, but last night he didn't get that choice, and neither did I. Because my husband obeyed me last night, the men at the theater did what they wanted with and to me. The sex was rougher than usual, but intense and very, very pleasurable.

Because my husband sat and stayed, like he was told to do, one man, I think, had his knees on my wrists and two other men, I think, held my legs open. Another man got to fist me, something no one has ever done to or with me before. I have a relatively tight pussy, but this man got a lot of his hand in me and stretched me, big time. The man that had his hand in me called me a slut and a whore, and he told me that my pussy was made to be stretched and used. And I agreed. My husband has been way too timid to try anything like this with me, or even ask to. The man that had his hand in me didn't ask. And he didn't have to.

I respected the man that had his hand in me more than I have ever respected my husband. Why? Because the man who had his hand in me took a chance, did what he wanted to do, was a man. This man that had his hand in my pussy did his best to get his whole hand in me, he couldn't, but he tried really hard to do so. My legs were being held open and my wrists were pinned to the floor. I couldn't have stopped any of them had I wanted to.

I was fortunate that several men had cum in me before the "hand man" decided to attempt to shove his entire hand into my pussy. If I hadn't been so lubed up with cum, I'm sure that the "hand man" would have hurt me.

Usually fisting requires a level of trust, and last night I was trusting a stranger, and stranger who had me pinned to the floor, my legs spread as far as they would go, and his hand in my pussy. Did I trust this stranger? Yes. Why? Because he didn't just put his hand in my pussy. First he fingered me with three fingers. He did this for some time, and I liked it.

As this stranger, that I never got to see, fingered me, he told me that my pussy was beautiful. He said that my pussy was made for sex and fucking. And I agreed. He kissed my breasts as he fingered me, which I really enjoyed. The "hand man" told me that he loved that I let so many men fuck me and cum in me, and that I deserved more pleasure. I again agreed.

The "hand man" then added another finger into the mix. He now had four fingers in me, up to his knuckles. He finger fucked me for some time. And then I felt him trying to get his whole hand in me. It hurt and I told him so. The "hand man" told me to relax and just enjoy the experience. I admitted that I wanted to. He assured me that I would.

To add to my enjoyment, the "hand man" put two fingers in my ass, or it felt like two fingers. Then he had three fingers in me, or so it felt like. I now had three fingers in my ass and a hand trying to force it's way into my pussy. The "hand man" kept telling me to relax and just enjoy. To be honest, I wanted to, but it hurt. Then the pain got really intense!

I could feel my pussy stretching and then wrapping around the "hand man's" wrist. He had gotten his entire hand in my pussy. I can't really explain how it felt to have a strangers hand entirely embedded in my pussy, but it was intense and a feeling I had never felt before.

The man that had his knees pinning my wrists to the floor leaned over. I knew he'd leaned over because the head of his cock touched my lips. And I needed his cock right then.

I had three or four fingers in my ass and an entire hand in my pussy. I also had my mouth full of cock. I was in heaven, feeling pleasure and pain at the same time.

The "hand man" told me to tell him that I liked it, and I would have, had I not had a mouth full of cock. The "hand man" told me that my pussy felt incredible wrapped around his wrist and that my pussy was all worm and wet. I was more excited than I had ever been before. This was an experience I would have said no to had I been asked first, but I didn't really have that choice.

The "hand man" slid his hand out of my pussy and then shoved it back in. The pain of his knuckles passing through my vaginal entrance each time was almost unbearable. It hurt! That didn't stop the "hand man" from fist fucking me, slowly, but with force. Every time the "hand man" slid his hand back in me, the deeper the cock in my mouth went into my throat. I have no idea if there were other men, other than my husband, watching me and these two men, and the man or men holding my legs open, but I didn't really care. I knew what I was experiencing was two men doing what they wanted with and to me, and I was loving it.

While these men were using me for their pleasure, I was thinking of how I wished that my husband was more like these men. I also thought about what my husband must have been thinking about as these men did to me what they wanted. Again, I had no control over what these men did to me, and I liked that. I control my husband, and I like it when other men take control.

I respected these men, all of them, the men who held my legs open, the one that had his cock in my mouth and throat and especially the man fisting me. The respect came from them doing what they wanted to do, without asking. My husband, when he wants sex, always asks me if we can play, which gives me the opportunity to say yes or no. I liked that last night, at the theater, I didn't have, and wasn't given, that choice.

A lot of women have rape fantasies, and last night I got to live out mine. I wasn't really raped, but what happened to me I had no ability to stop, really. These men I could not see were doing to and with me what they wanted, and they didn't give me the option of saying yes or no. The "hand man" took it upon himself to do what he did, without asking if he could, and that earned my respect.

Because I had my blindfold on, I didn't know if my husband was still sitting where I had told him to or not. And at that time I really couldn't ask if he had continued to obey me. What I did know was that my hands were pinned to the floor, I had a big cock in my mouth and down my throat and fingers in my ass and a hand fucking me. It kind of excited me to think that maybe my husband had disobeyed me and left me there to be used by these strangers that I couldn't see.

I don't know how long the "hand man" fist fucked me, but it felt like forever, in a good way. I had never experienced such a balance of pain and pleasure in my life. And I can't remember ever being that excited. When I was lying on the floor, alone, I sat up. I pulled up my blindfold and looked at my husband who had watched the entire spectacle. My husband had a small smile on his face and asked me if I was alright. I looked at him and asked why he had never done anything like those men had. And he apologized. That pissed me off.

My husband had the opportunity to watch men, who were real men, do what I wished that he'd done to me. And what did my husband learn? Nothing! He apologized. And that always pisses me off.

My husband wants me to tell people that he has a tiny penis and that he is in chastity, but what does he do for me in return? It takes other men to do what I wish that my husband would do to me, yet, because of how I feel about him, I am not sure I would let my husband do what I let other men do to and with me.