Ex broke up with me because of cuckolding. Advice?

Discussion in 'Cuckold Forum' started by MasculineWannabeCuck, Aug 29, 2016.

  1. MasculineWannabeCuck

    MasculineWannabeCuck New Member

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    To paint a long story short, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my cuckold fetish.

    I had struggled with it for a long time. I have been into cuckolding and interracial for quite some time (years), though never really had a girlfriend recently. A few months back, got to meet her and we liked each other, it clicked. Well, we ended up getting intimate pretty soon and no matter what, I couldn't still help but be fascinated by cuckolding and interracial stuff. Even when we were first getting intimate, I still had to masturbate to it. Then it affected our sex life... oddly enough, I have had trouble staying hard recently. Even with her directly naked right in front of me, I couldn't stay hard. It began to strain our relationship and was very embarassing... she thought it's because I didn't find her attractive or some shit. Either way, it ate at us and her especially.

    Well, with the help of chatting online (including here), I finally manned up and admitted it to her. It was very embarassing and a tough pill to swallow, but I had a few drinks, we both did, and then got intimate again. I told her the real reason why I had trouble staying hard, it was my fascination with this lifestyle. She was taken back at first and wasn't quite sure what it was (cuckolding), I tried to explain to her, but she just didn't seem very interested and passed out. Either way, she ended up looking into it more the next day and was actually revolted. She isn't the most conservative chick either, but the thought of me allowing her to cheat turned her off, badly. We started to not see each other the next week and suddenly she told me she didn't want to see each other anymore.

    It sucked.

    But it worries me that she may have told her girlfriends about my issue too... is this something that should worry me?

    Anyway, that was a pain in the ass to get through. Last month, I met this new girl and things have been going fantastic so far. She's a bit more tame than my ex, and but I still get the same issue sexually. It's frustrating as hell, but I feel that I need to somehow tell her, otherwise it will continue to eat at me.

    Any advice?
     
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  2. cuckyboy69

    cuckyboy69 Active Member

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    I'm sorry to hear about that, you had the courage to admit your fantasy and it backfired. Many women will be turned off by cuckolding it's just the way it is. I would try to bring it up in the future in a more delicate way, try testing the water slowly and see if she's into it.

    Good luck with your new lady.
     
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  3. RandC

    RandC Well-Known Member Gold Member

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    Be upfront with any woman that may entertain an ongoing relationship with you, you may find a woman who enjoys the fact that you would encourage her to have the best sex possible and still maintain a secure future with a man who loves her for who she is as a person. We just started the LS 3 years ago after 32 years of marriage and I can only imagine how enhanced the early years of our sexlife would have been!
     
  4. MasculineWannabeCuck

    MasculineWannabeCuck New Member

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    Thanks for the kind words :)
     
  5. astonct8

    astonct8 New Member

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    I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. These things happen and unfortunately not alot of people are as open minded as they claim to be....they tend to be "open minded" as long as it suits their own selfish need.
    If she's were looking for a husband and you purported to possibly marrying her.....or you were a millionaire (not saying you're not but you get my point) perhaps she might have played along since people mostly act in self interest. Unless of course you got lucky and met a woman who TRULY is into it in which case you'd have hit the jackpot! Trust me however, women into it are worth a million who are not because there's a raw truth and honesty at that level that in itself is an immense turn on both ways.
    Keep up the search and you might get lucky sooner than you think.

    Cheers!
     
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  6. ThirdWheelLova

    ThirdWheelLova Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Sorry to hear about that, but I'm sure you'll find the right girl one day that will enjoy the cuckolding lifestyle as much as you, there are tons of us out there.

    One suggestion I have is this, if you are watching a lot of interracial or cuckolding porn, or any porn for that matter, that can have a detrimental effect on your sex drive. Porn addiction is a huge thing now that its so easy to find on the internet and its affecting peoples libidos. So try to cut down or cut out the porn and I'm sure you'll see a return of your virility. Good luck!
     
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  7. MasculineWannabeCuck

    MasculineWannabeCuck New Member

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    Thanks for the kind words. I wish all women, at least the ones I meet, could be as open minded and attractive as you! Looks like you know how to have a blast. Just wish it was easier to find girls into this kinda thing without being so emasculated. Maybe it's petty of me, but do you think she told her friends about my fetish and sexual performance?

    Thanks for the tip, as well. I assumed I probably do watch too much porn, which is true. Am trying to cut back.
     
  8. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    ....You're going way too fast with your ladies, MWC ... way too fast. You're not allowing your relationships to grow first. The "dating phase" of relationships is a "get to know" time. You're on level 5 or 6, and your partners are still on level 2-3 ... just too fast. After dating a while, it might be ok (might I say) to share sexual fantasies, but I can't imagine getting to that point in 2-3 months. If you are having erectile issues that early in a relationship, there possibly could be a lot more to your issue, as ThirdWheel said. Over indulgence in porn deadens the sexual, turn-on sensors in your brain. That's why, when people get addicted to porn, over a period of time the porn needs to become more and more graphic in order for the person to get the same turn-on results from it. You keep doing it and you'll end up having to go to a detox-deprograming, porn addiction facility to get back to a normal life ... seriously.
    .....It appears you want this cuckold arrangement to feed YOUR addiction, not add spice to the sexual relationship you have with your woman. You're simply not giving your relationships with your partners time to grow as you're wanting a 'shake n bake' type, immediate results. Not a lot dissimilar to a man who has PMS (premature ejaculation syndrome) ... thinking more about his own ejaculation than in sexually pleasing his partner makes a man ejaculate within minutes of starting copulations.
    .....I think the best you should hope for, in the early stages of a relationship, is to determine if you're on the same sexual wave link as your partner. Eventually viewing porn might indicate their openness to share sexual fantasies to see if what you like, they like. If they're turned off by graphic porn, however, its pretty certain that your relationship with this individual hasn't grown to the point of sharing sexual fantasies.
    .....Slow Down ... there's usually an understood Speed Limit to this, plus, as they say "the journey together is most the fun".
    pic_nickelsworth.jpg
     
    #8 MacNfries, Aug 29, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2016
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  9. ThirdWheelLova

    ThirdWheelLova Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Well put, I was with my husband for a couple of years before we started slowly getting into the swinging lifestyle and even longer before it became more of a cuckolding arrangement. Even then I was hesitant at first but because our relationship was already strong and established, I felt comfortable exploring new things with him, and now I wouldn't have it any other way, but we've been together for over 7 years, so it takes time.
     
  10. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    Including our dating years, wife & I have been together over 20 years as of September 18th. And, I wouldn't trade her in for any young filly.
     
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  11. iraddict

    iraddict New Member

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    The advice from ThirdWheelLova is spot on. I have a strong suspicion that your erectile problems aren't due to your cuckolding fetish as much as they are to watching too much porn. This is becoming a HUGE problem. Go visit yourbrainonporn.com. There is a MASSIVE community of guys with the same problem. The website also has information on what's causing it, as well as ways to get help. I'm not anti-porn in the least, but as with everything, it should be in moderation. I remember reading one article from a very prominent therapist in which he stated that over a third of all his patients were suffering from erectile dysfunction due to internet porn addiction. And these were healthy, college aged men.
    Good luck.
     
  12. clitlove99

    clitlove99 Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Just doesn't seem like your are really into to women honestly. Hard to get hard for a woman if they aren't what u are into.

    You want a girl so u can have black dudes fuck her? She can do that solo.

    Nothing wrong with being gay it's 2016 not all ladies want to be receptacles for their "straight" bfs and husbands.

    Advice just come out and get all the BBC or let your next girl know your bi atleast.
     
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  13. Miamicouple

    Miamicouple Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    MacNfries has a lot of great points. You are moving way too fast!!! Your fetish is overwhelming you! Me and my husband discuss this a lot. We have been together for years. It never started out anything like this. We have always been pretty sexual. But in a standard husband and wife relationship type of way. We have been through so much. Changed a lot. And not just physically and sexually. We've just grown. Talked. Listen. Learned. Communicated. He brought this lifestyle on to me slowly. And it slowly happened. I would never ever had these thoughts on my own. Never. And if I did. They were deep rooted and he brought them out.
    You have to have a strong foundation to let one of your partners have sex in front of the other and for it not to effect that relationship. Many people I assume try this lifestyle and the relationship fails. Trust me even me and my husband argue at times. And when we do. The last thing we think about is adding a third party in our relationship. This is a lifestyle. But for many of us it's not a 24 hour 7 day a week thing. Some of us have very regular day to day things we have to deal with. Family. Kids. Grandkids. Work. School and even family illnesses. Nothing very sexy about some of our daily life's. But when it's play time. And the relationship is fantastic. Then our natural desires kick in. Our sex revolves around the lifestyle now. It's just natural. But my husbands says many times. He feels like he's hit the lottery with our relationship. He believes very very few women who are in a so called normal relationship would agree to this lifestyle! It's a male dominated fetish. Even the few women who have fantasies about sleeping outside of their marriage or relationship, do not have that same fantasy of having sex in front of their mate! Some might. But very few! And those very few might not even admit it!
    So slow down. Build a strong foundation. Introduce it to her. Slowly!!! Watch porn. Watch interracial porn. Watch cuckold porn. If you see no excitement. I am afraid it just might not meant to be. If you see signs of excitement. Slowly talk about it. But slowly! Another word of advice. Most cuckold women are not on the shy or timid side. Not all. But most. Just my two cents.
    Good luck!
     
  14. digitalconfetti

    digitalconfetti Member

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    If you're having trouble with keep your dick hard, with a naked woman in front of you, you need to stop whackin it porn. Like...immediately. Especially if you're a young dude.

    With regards to your relationships, you're definitely moving to fast like the others are saying . "Cuckolding" normally isn't something you bring up on the 4th or 5th date. If you're meeting people on the street, online, through friends, vanilla-life, whatever, you're going to have to date and get to know each other for a bit (and you're not going to get very far dating women if you can't get your dick hard so stop the porn).

    Join fetlife.com and join some cuckold related clubs. Plenty of ladies on there know exactly what cuckolding is. Join collarspace.com and message a nice girl on there. Check out the cuckold subreddit (check out the the nofap subreddit while you're at it). Even though I do think a cuckold-type relationship might take time to develop, you don't have to get married or be with someone for years to introduce this fetish to a significant other. Last year I made a craigslist ad (lol) basically looking for a woman interested in cuckolding. I got lucky and received around three legit responses. I ended up dating one of the girls for about 9 months. She was fucking her ex's from the beginning of our relationship, but in all that time I never watched her get fucked by them or other men (did watch her get spanked at a sex party though :)). We only started talking about that and other kinkier stuff towards the end. Even in a "modern" "cuckold" relationship, you still have to date, get to know each other, build rapport, set boundaries, build intimacy, develop respect for each other, etc, etc, etc, before you start inviting other men into your shared bedroom life.

    There's almost certainly better and more delicate ways to broach this topic in the future too, once you've been with someone for a decent amount of time. Instead of getting drunk and dropping your kinks on her like it's some sort of heavy burden, ask her about her kinks and act on those instead. You can tell her yours later. Bring some kinky toys into your bedroom one night. Maybe suggest something along the lines of open relationship and bring up cuckolding at a later date. Open relationships can develop into a cuckold thing I'd imagine.

    And yes, that girl will definitely tell her friends about your fetish. And it shouldn't matter to you at all (unless she's in your circle of friends, your fault if she is). You won't be seeing her again anyway.
     
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  15. MasculineWannabeCuck

    MasculineWannabeCuck New Member

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    Thanks so much for all the informational posts on this topic, I sincerely appreciate it. I've honestly read through each post and have greatly been able to reduce the amount that I masturbate, and it's helped a lot with my sex life. Despite that, however, I still have this urge for cuckolding. I cannot seem to get away from it no matter how hard I try.

    I've been dating this new girl since July and it's been great; she's funny and we both really enjoy each other's time. She's a bit more timid sexually, but I can definitely see she does have a kinky side, though I'm not much able to bring it out. I haven't mentioned a single peep about this fetish to her yet, though it continues to drive me wild.

    And my ex, yeah.... she did tell her friends and it's been a bit embarassing. Saw two of her friends in public and had a convo and could just tell something was up, like they were looking at me different. Found out that she told them and a few of her other friends. But I don't talk to her anymore.
     
  16. MasculineWannabeCuck

    MasculineWannabeCuck New Member

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    Thank you especially for the intuition. It all completely makes sense to me and I realize at the end of the day, this is a fetish. I learned the hard way that I have to take it slow and I desperately have been trying to. However this fantasy and fetish just keeps coming back, cannot seem to rid myself of it no matter how hard I try.

    But I have taken your words into account and am working toward something healthy to fulfill my desires. It means a lot coming from someone like you!!
     
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