It's so difficult, heart says one thing, head says another, and cock says another.
Growing up and having both parents ministers, I grew up with those same feelings. My heart was saying one thing, my head was saying another and my body was saying another. To this day, although I have sex with other men, daily, I find myself wondering if I am going to go to Hell because of my actions. Then I think about how much I am doing for others, and how happy I am making other people.
God made me the way I am, and he gave all of us our sex drives. Sex is not a bad thing. It only becomes a bad thing when those involved have bad intentions. I want sex with my husband more often, yet when the opportunity is there I find myself wanting others instead. I am very okay with who and how I am, but there are times that I feel that he pushes me toward other men. Then there are also times when I want other men more often.
This lifestyle does bring on several different emotions, whether you are the husband or the wife. My husband has few morals, if any. And I often wonder where his mind is, then I remember that I am as perverted as my husband is. And that is why I love him as much as I do, although I have sex with others more often than with my husband.
You have to be honest with yourself and your spouse. This lifestyle is for those couples who have strong relationships and a deep love for each other. This lifestyle is not for the timid, that's for sure. For a husband to be known as a cuck is tough on some men. And being seen as a slut is tough on many wives. Yet, those of us who live this lifestyle love it. The ups are more abundant that the downsides.
Making a decision to allow your wife to have sex with others can do one of two things, it can change your relationship for the worst, or it can strengthen your relationship and deepen your love for one another. Few women, once in the lifestyle, want out of it. Consider who's happiness is most important. Make a decision you are not going to regret. What you will regret you know better than anyone.