Doms: How to tell the real from the fake

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by MrBBC420, Aug 15, 2015.

  1. MrBBC420

    MrBBC420 Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Country:
    US
    I see a lot of pussy chasers and abusers masquerading as Doms. I was a sub to a beautiful Dominant woman before I discovered my Dominant side, so I feel uniquely qualified to advise on this subject. All D/s relationships are different and there is no set way to be a Dom but these are some of the things I've noticed that Fake Doms have.

    A fake Dom may start of with sweet talk but then will turn the convo to a sexual nature very quickly without getting to know you. He will ask for nudes or push for cybersex before he tries to get to know you.

    A fake Dom will try to Dom you without establishing a relationship first. In the 1st few convos he will demand you call him daddy/mr/sir etc and try to set rules (i.e when you may/ tell you what to wear on your 1st meeting ) before you've agreed to become his sub.

    A fake Dom will offer his collar in the first couple of meetings/convos without discussing boundaries and before he tells you what he expects from you.

    A fake Dom will push you to play on the first date or before discussing limits or establishing a safe word. He will push for sex or head to prove your submissive. DON'T EVER PLAY W/O ESTABLISHING LIMITS AND A SAFEWORD. THIS CAN'T BE STRESSED ENOUGH. D/s relationships aren't about sex or power, it's about trust and respect.

    Once you're collared:

    A fake Dom will change. He will stop being sweet and smooth and start being controlling and possibly violent.

    A fake Dom won't respect your limits. A good Dom pushes you to the edge of your limits and stops there.

    A fake Dom will isolate you by not letting you talk to friends or family. It's important for subs to have people to talk to (preferably other subs)

    A sub should choose when and where the first meet happens and shouldn't play until they feel comfortable and have established limits and a safeword. A sub shouldn't ever be disciplined for breaking rules if they aren't rewarded when the rules are followed. A sub has rights and the ability to end a relationship (though a Dom is under no obligation to take you back if you leave).

    No Dom is perfect (including me) but a real Dom will praise you and show you nothing but love and respect. A D/s relationship is about both parties satisfaction not just the Doms. If there is anything I forgot put it in the convo section. If you have questions for me, message me and I'll do my best to answer.
     
    South African BBC likes this.