For us there are three scenerios.
1) She is called and goes to him. Here I wait at home for her. When she comes home, I always clean her until she has another orgasm. The entire time I am licking her, she is telling me what they and he did. Often I am allowed to feel her after, so I understand how stretched she is.
2) I watch. Here I do not speak unless spoken too. I serve drinks and make sure they have whatever they need. I do not participate. When he is done, I again lick her. If he stays, I sleep in another room. She will tuck me in by coming to me to lick her before she returns to him.
3) I watch and participate. This happens less than the other two. I should mention that my wife will NOT suck me. That is an act of submission to her, and reserved for BBC's, as is cumming inside or on her.