For many women it's not a matter of finding "a real man", as they are happy with the man they have at home, but they do have a desire to experience the excitement of being with and desired by a different lover. However, the key still is that they are already in a primary relationship, rather than looking to start one while "playing the field."
This excellent advice!
It would be interesting to learn their reasons why having a stable relationship with an adoring white husband who not only permits but encourages his wife to fully enjoy her sexuality with others is not attractive to them.
This especially when viewed by various age groups. I should think the younger women would prefer to just be in a one-on-one with a black man, whereas the older women might be a bit more open to having a core relationship that allows them to enjoy themselves elsewhere.
As the saying goes ...
"Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position."
Or, if you prefer, the Groucho Marx version: “While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”