A common debate in the IR lifestyle is the way to develop a craving towards any alternative form of sex, often related with the interest of many men to introduce their sex partners into this kink. Suggested methods range from diverse and barely ethical forms of emotional manipulation to the naive use of black dildos that hopefully will transform a female with no interest in interracial adultery into a devoted “hotwife”. This brief essay aims to be a overview of some realistic methodologies to reach such goals, using psychological studies and my own (limited) experience.
All animals, including human beings, can be conditioned to develop responses to certain stimuli. Although these sorts of responses occur below the level of conscious awareness, they may result in a learned behaviour based in emotional impulses. A good example of this process, developed from trial and error, is horse dressage. Firstly, the trainer has to be acknowledged as the alpha and then he humiliates the horse until submits to him. If the ******* shows a desired behavioral pattern, he is rewarded. If the ******* shows an undesired pattern, he is punished. This is a process that many Doms use in BDSM sometimes without even being aware. For any person with a strong character this logic is pretty intuitive. A dominant’s interpersonal calculus tend to center on how to manipulate others into a cost-benefit analysis not constrained by the same values that most people have.
I. P. Pavlov was awarded the Nobel Prize for his development of the concepts of conditioning and association in dogs. In its simplest form, what Pavlov did was ring a bell just before feeding a dog. Over time, the dog learned to associate the sound of the bell with eating and would salivate when he heard the bell, even if no food was present. B. F. Skinner further refined this process into the so-called “behavioral engineering”.
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Sexual excitement release dopamine into a part of the brain called the reward center, encoding information about the value and nature of the stimuli. High levels of pleasure will make an individual to repeat the behavior. Fear releases adrenaline, an hormone that triggers our fight-or-flight response and reduces the body's ability to feel pain. It also causes a noticeable increase in strength and performance, as well as heightened awareness. The release of adrenaline due to emotionally stressful events can modulate memory consolidation of that events. On the other hand, pain releases endorphins that interact with the opiate receptors in the brain to reduce our perception of pain and acts similarly to ******* such as morphine. It also leads to feelings of euphoria and releases sexual hormones. In sum, the hormonal cocktail triggered during a regular BDSM session can be intoxicating, and its educational potential, as a set of practices deeply rooted in pleasure and pain, should be out of question.
The “social learning” created by A. Bandura is a third level of learning that only primates and humans are capable of. Bandura believes that we constantly consider the relationship between their behavior and its consequences, so it is not essential that the learner be directly reinforced in order for learning to take place: the whole process revolves primarily around the observation and imitation of a role model.
Classical conditioning and social learning methodology have been used by some armies to permit soldiers to overcome their resistance to killing. The method used was to expose the subjects to films designed to show people being killed in violent ways. By being acclimatized through these films, the soldiers eventually become able to disassociate their emotions from such a situation. In psychological terms, this step-by-step reduction of a resistance is a form of classical (Pavlovian) conditioning called systematic de-sensitization. The process can be improved by administering positive stimuli while the violent scenes are shown, until the well-being state became associated with the acts of violence.
Social learning is much more subtle. Publicity is based on the creation of strong emotional links between a product and some feelings. If a male’s ******* “learns” that the owner of a car model is always surrounded by attractive women, he will desire to get one. As the TV producer Miguel Sabido pointed out: "media representations gain influence because people's social constructions of reality depend heavily on what they see, hear and read rather than what they experience directly". Fictional reality is rooted into human psychology as it serves a biological function. Drawing on the latest research in neuroscience, Jonathon Gottschall concluded that narrative help us to explore possible futures without suffering physical dangers. Across cultures, the morals of any story are the following: if we follow the rules, we will rewarded as the protagonist, but if we break the rules, we will be punished like the bad guy.
Unintentionally, pornography works in similar ways. The brains of porn users create connections between their feelings and whatever is happening on their screens. The “reward” that the viewer receives, in its most pleasurable and primal form, may operate as a form of systematic de-sensitization, destroying all moral or innate reticences towards the sexual practices that are displayed. Many porn users eventually find themselves getting aroused by sexual practices that used to disgust them or that go against their morals. The white boy who watches interracial porn eventually will put aside his sexual competitiveness and territoriality towards the women of his own race, accepting the subordinate role of omega male. Researchers are finding that porn has a growing influence in teenager’s sexual education.
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And this leads me to the starting point.
When I decided to marry it was because of my unconditional love for my husband and my need to live with someone who would be my best friend and lover. I had absolutely no intention of having extramarital relationships. There was no need as I would have everything I could possibly want. Eventually things were not as I expected, as my hubby saw physical intimacy as a side issue in a normal marriage.
Masturbation was the only release available to me. I would wake up in the middle of the night and find my hand touching my outer lips even lying close to my husband. My collection of sex toys was enlarged. Like Carroll’s Alice, a rabbit led me to a dark Wonderland. I felt that I was becoming a pervert and this was made worse when I bought my own laptop to find internet porn. I tried everything from softcore to hardcore and found myself watching soft BDSM, but soon I developed curiosity towards interracial sex.
Then my Black Dom appeared in my life the first experience blew my mind. We maintained a connection despite the distance between us. His sugested readings helped me to understand my needs and desires, as well as the parameters of my submission. He chose the videos for my reliefs to help me to improve the service I was privileged to provide him. All of them involved spankings, restrictions and white women being used by well-endowed black studs. I watched those series of sexually explicit videos, which got progressively harder. Sometimes he allowed me to cum, other times he didn't. I had to masturbate following his orders by Skype. A voice inside my head told me I shouldn’t like what I watched, because it is wrong and humiliating. But pleasure quickly silenced it. After the climax I would feel ashamed, but while I was doing it my whole body warmed up.
This “training” continued via computer and limited real contacts for almost two years. Once time, when I confess my Dom that I had good sex the day before with my husband, he directed me to stretch out on the bed with the legs spread, took his belt and told me:
"You must not cum without permission."
The strokes in my cunt were not just about discipline or punishment, they were illustrating that my submission was in all ways. From the confusion created by sexual excitement, shame, guilt and pain, I finally realized my Dom was talking to me.
"Your pleasure is mine to give you. Understand?"
"Yes Sir." I mumbled, fiercely blushing.
He ran the head of his black cock up and down my pussy lips, and my hips started to move without even thinking on it. He allowed me to get the orgasm and the ******* was inmense, delicious and terrible at the same time. I forgot who I was and where I was. When he finished and told me "good girl", I had no words sufficient even to begin to express the emotional impact of the experience.
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There was a definite direction and purpose in these experiences. Whilst I had no idea about them, I also had no need to know. Few months later, I realized that I cannot get any orgasm without the permission of my Master, otherwise I felt guilty. As the Pavlov's dog salivated hearing the bell, my sex soaks and throbs hearing "good girl". Without even knowing it, I had been conditioned. Through guided masturbation, spankings and orgasm denial, my ******* associated sexual pleasure with a dominant black male. Now I appreciate a well-built Caucasian body as I value the beauty of a good painting, but my primal instincts only respond to my Dom. Systematic de-sensitization silenced any reluctance imposed by my Catholic education, the dominant culture, or my strict parents. Long time ago, I considered some practices like ass rimming something degrading and dirty. Now I lick a black ass with proud and joy.
The most amazing side of this experience is I don’t feel being “reprogrammed” but in perfect harmony with my true self. W. H. Auden wrote that “poetry makes nothing happen”, but with a proper guidance pornography can change our souls.
