There is no "right way" to cuckolding other than the way that works best for you, your husband and your lover(s). Not every couple has the same needs and desires, so there is no "one size fits all" way to cuckold.
Not knowing anything about you and your husband, I could not begin to guess what might be best for the two of you, but if you are a loving couple, keeping him actively involved is probably the best. If you are becoming the dominant in your marriage and he is submissive to you, then you also want to keep him involved, but in a more service oriented manner to enable him to explore and develop his submissive desires while at the same time providing you with loving support and service. Think "maid" service, massages, pedicure, etc., but not necessarily turning him into a "sissy" as this does not work well for all couples. A husband can perform household tasks just as well in a masculine mode as he could in a feminine sissy type of situation. Unless, of course, that is something that works for the two of you.
If having your husband be an active part of your sexual encounters is desirable to you, then be all means make him a part of it. You can have him hold you and "make out" while your stud fucks you, have him eat your pussy while you get fucked, be the third in a DP session, perform "clean up" or just sit and watch and maybe take pictures. Its all about what you would enjoy.
If you are uncomfortable with having him there, then go out on "dates" with your lover and then go home to your husband to let him have his turn, perform "clean up" or just to reassure him by being there with him. Alternately you could have your lover to your home, but find things for you husband to do to occupy his time and keep him out of your way or just tell him to go to the movies and not come home until you call him.
The main thing you should do is communicate. Talk to your husband about what is going on, how he feels, if there are things he enjoys about it and what would he like to do. Then see how all that compliments or clashes with what you desire, but both of you need to keep open minds and be willing to try different scenarios to see what might work really well for both of you. Even then, things may change on an as you go basis, so don't be afraid to alter the way you do things to suit your situation at any given time.