Dumb suggestions, both of you - GreatDane and MaleSlave. This woman made a mistake and you are trying to compound it. She obviously loves her husband and fears she has seriously damaged her marriage. And you idiots are telling her to tell him to like it or it's tough cookies? Get out of your parents' basements, get dressed, and stop living in your fantasy worlds.
I am going to assume that her attitude is serious and that she is truly concerned about her marriage. She doesn't say whether she and hubby have ******* or not, but I would bet they do and she is scared about destroying her family. ******* ALWAYS lose in a divorce.
BeenBlackened, you obviously have some kind of hotwife or cuck relationship with hubby, and you were smart enough to set up rules from the beginning. You were at a party and my guess is the alcohol was flowing. Yes, you may have wanted your hubby's co-worker, but my guess is under normal, non-alcohol loosening standards, you would have had a lot more control and maybe avoided an awkward situation.
My suggestions are as follows:
1. Most women are pretty good at reading people. Meet with the co-worker, maybe for lunch, and discuss what happened. Find out whether he intends to keep it quiet or not and how serious he is. Is he married? That might also play to your advantage. DO NOT let on how nervous you are about hubby finding out. You will give HIM the advantage. You could always take the angle of you don't want what happened to make things awkward for hubby and co-worker at work.
2. If you determine the co-worker is very serious about keeping things quiet and you are confident of his honesty, say nothing to hubby and don't make the same mistake again. Forget it ever happened.
3. If the co-worker intends to continue things with you or you do not feel he is telling the truth about keeping it quiet, you have no choice except to tell your husband, before your co-worker does or before hubby finds out another way. He will be hurt, because you broke his trust. BUT, because of the alcohol, he will probably be more willing to forgive you. Also, the fact that you already have a hot wife or cuck relationship, he will probably be turned on, but nervous about things being spread around work. Work with him. Calm his fears. Make sure he knows HE is the one you love and you are not leaving him. It was a one time occurrence and it will not happen again.
Just my 2 cents. Good luck, Beenblackened. I truly hope things work out for you and hubby.
Oh. One more thing. Not to you, Beenblackened. I understand this is a fantasy site, but there are a lot of problems people have that they need serious advice about. Sometimes, people are faking problems for fantasy reasons, but is that any reason to assume everyone is? I would much rather assume someone is being truthful and honestly try to help them and make the world a better place, than I would to assume everyone is making crap up and give them advice to fuel my own stupid, useless fantasies. Grow up people.