Yeah, a very confusing time for a male, especially if its during their formative sexual years, like all experiences in your youth, good and bad, they usually blueprint you from then on. 13 years ago, my ex-fiance left me more a guy she was fooling around with.. I thought to myself, well, time to get back out there and 'dating' again. I thought with the existence of the internet it shouldn't be too hard to meet women. In 18 months, I didn't as much as even take one out for dinner, not a single reply to any of my adverts... not one.
So, thought i'd seek out men as well, placed an advert of me in a fishnet body suit and heels, and the next day my inbox was full. I met a gent in his mid 50's and it was deja vu all over again. I 'dated' him for 6 weeks before meeting my current wife. It was fun, wearing new outfits, having another person desire me sexually but reopened a few wounds as well, reminding me of the youthful (and current) years of again not being desirable to women, being emotionally vulnerable and medicating that rejection with promiscuous, random male on male sex.. dressing as a sissy made me desirable to someone at least. My wife has said a few times, that we ever split, knowing the success i've had with women all my life, its likely thats the type of relationship i'll end up with, jokingly or not, she's probably right.
You're right as well, very different from gay sex, he was recently divorced as well, so lived a hetero life 95% of the time. And yes, it was amazing in my youth, how many married couples in their 40's would proposition me, where the wives were into watching me. Sadly, I never took them up on the offer, as I was always worried they may take photos or something, so opted for single, divorced or cheating men. Should've found a couple and been their play thing.. just didn't figure it out back then.
