11 Things Not to Say to Someone in an Interracial Relationship

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by michelle sd, Apr 22, 2015.

  1. michelle sd

    michelle sd Active Member Real Person Gold Member

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  2. bm_from_southjersey

    bm_from_southjersey Administrator Staff Member Real Person Gold Member

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    It was a good article. My wife is white and we've been together 14 years and married for 8 and I have yet to hear any questions like that but I don't doubt that it happens.
     
  3. Janice K

    Janice K Well-Known Member Gold Member

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    I should send this article to my parents and a few other family members who have dis-owned me since I started dating my black boyfriend years ago.. But then thinking about it, it would probably just piss them off and leave another racist remark. Since this was so long ago, I don't even think about them any longer. It's just sad there are so many racist and bigots in todays society, especially when it's your own family members who are included in this sad group of people.. I absolutely have no regrets in the path I have chosen and very much like this girl, I'm very happy with my black boyfriend. I'm so happy she posted this and I praise her for doing so. We should see more of this..
     
  4. hotjen

    hotjen Well-Known Member Gold Member

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    Well said hun I'm into BBC and if people don't like it tough that's the way my life is going as I said to my two brothers six years OK . yes you can just hear what they called me but I walked away with my head held high no regrets from me
     
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  5. mywayintermsofsex

    mywayintermsofsex Active Member

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  6. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    One never knows when Cupid is going to shoot that damn arrow, that's for sure ... but having just read the article (good one by the way) I made 2 notations:
    The word "snowbunny" and the phrase "once you go black" are used by black folks a lot more than white folks.
    ................................ gif_cupid.gif . View attachment 563032
    gif_Love.gif
     
    #6 MacNfries, Apr 24, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2015
  7. mywayintermsofsex

    mywayintermsofsex Active Member

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    What are you trying to say by this? Is there any particular difference about who says it?
    (BTW i like your new avatar. You two look even happier in it.)

    But some terms i read very often on a forum like this, including "once you go black...", "snowbunny", "chocolate", "vanilla", "bbc", "jungle fever", "AIDS", "race", "black babies" (used for "mixed"), ...
    So maybe i should repeat what i`ve said above:
     
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  8. mywayintermsofsex

    mywayintermsofsex Active Member

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    Yes, she "looks so innocent", maybe "it`s just a phase". (##3 and 4) :p
    But i guess you meant it differently, right? ;)
    i too think so.

    What really interests me after reading this is: What are his experiences with people who know he is dating a white women. Are there differences between people`s reactions towards a black man with a white girlfriend and a white woman with a black boyfriend?

    Another thing that comes to mind: Why is it, this thread is such a silent place (as opposed to many others in this forum)?
    @michelle sd: Maybe you should`ve posted a pic with a naked butt in it along with the link. :)
     
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  9. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

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    Thank you, for the avatar compliment, myway. I try to change the avatar 3-4 times a year or so. And we are a very happy couple. She tolerates a lot of my grouchiness.

    The reason I mentioned those, was because they, as with other words & phrases, are racist references, and because two of the first 3 posters to this OP's thread mentioned or hinted of racism. However, no one usually gets called out when racist overtones are used in reverse. It always seems to go only one way. My purpose of mentioning it was to call attention and remind folks that racism is not a one-way street. If condescending references were made to black male members as often as they are of white male and female members, here, you'd see flame wars going off regularly. A few of the regular white females (who I got to know during my first 3-4 years as a member here) specifically left because of the condescending remarks and references to white females. But to answer your question as to "is there any particular difference about who says it?" ... absolutely not, and that was my point. But, I don't think those comments or that article was implying that.
    Just the way I see it ... Mac

    ps ... check out this website for a few video discussions on racial dating. I'm sure you'll find them meaningful ...
    http://themilwaukeedrum.com/2010/08/17/taboo-tuesday-jungle-fever-real-talk-from-sisters/
     
    #9 MacNfries, Apr 24, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2015
  10. mywayintermsofsex

    mywayintermsofsex Active Member

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    Y.w. Mac.
    i know. Black men are racists too. :D
    ^ NOT to be read as a general statement. And that exactly is the point!

    Seriously, it ALWAYS goes ONE WAY!, as follows: racist ==(racist statement or action)==> "race".
    Replace "racist" with an individual of any "race", and ""race"" with any "racial" group.

    Racism always addresses a group of people by applying generalisation to individuals in a way that they are viewed as something homogenous when in fact they are NOT (<= i.e. stereotyping).

    Statements are made and actions are taken by individuals and NOT groups, though. This is of course also true for racist statements and actions.

    This means, there can never be something like "a racist race", but only racist individuals. And these exist within ALL groups (and "races").

    So my above statment "Black men are racists too." can only be interpreted as "There are also some (a few or many) black men who are racists" and not "Black men (as a whole = all black men) are racists."

    The letter interpretation would be stereotyping and applying the same logik racism follows and would indeed be racist itself, and nonsensical!, as it is impossible that each and every one from a whole "race" (= billions of people) can collectively be this or that.

    Thanks for the link. Many differnt people with many different views and biases.
     
  11. michelle sd

    michelle sd Active Member Real Person Gold Member

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  12. Easy-Going Cali 8

    Easy-Going Cali 8 Active Member Real Person

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    It was a great article and points out how caught up people get in thinking about stupid, unimportant things that leads to racism, classism, and any other -ism that leads to people making an ass of themselves. If we could just focus more on whats important and try to understand each other a little better, then there might not be as many problems.
     
  13. Orion Pax

    Orion Pax Moderator Staff Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Ignorant people here. Could learn a lot from reading this
     
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