11 Things Not to Say to Someone in an Interracial Relationship

Janice K

Female
Gold Member
From
FL, US
#3
I should send this article to my parents and a few other family members who have dis-owned me since I started dating my black boyfriend years ago.. But then thinking about it, it would probably just piss them off and leave another racist remark. Since this was so long ago, I don't even think about them any longer. It's just sad there are so many racist and bigots in todays society, especially when it's your own family members who are included in this sad group of people.. I absolutely have no regrets in the path I have chosen and very much like this girl, I'm very happy with my black boyfriend. I'm so happy she posted this and I praise her for doing so. We should see more of this..
 

hotjen

Female
Gold Member
From
UK
#4
Well said hun I'm into BBC and if people don't like it tough that's the way my life is going as I said to my two brothers six years OK . yes you can just hear what they called me but I walked away with my head held high no regrets from me
 

mywayintermsofsex

Male
Gold Member
From
Austria
#5

mywayintermsofsex

Male
Gold Member
From
Austria
#7
One never knows when Cupid is going to shoot that damn arrow, that's for sure ... but having just read the article (good one by the way) I made 2 notations:
The word "snowbunny" and the phrase "once you go black" are used by black folks a lot more than white folks.
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What are you trying to say by this? Is there any particular difference about who says it?
(BTW i like your new avatar. You two look even happier in it.)

But some terms i read very often on a forum like this, including "once you go black...", "snowbunny", "chocolate", "vanilla", "bbc", "jungle fever", "AIDS", "race", "black babies" (used for "mixed"), ...
So maybe i should repeat what i`ve said above:
It won`t hurt, if more forum members read this! (...)
 

mywayintermsofsex

Male
Gold Member
From
Austria
#8
(...) I think she's just 20 something and not sure of herself.(...)
Yes, she "looks so innocent", maybe "it`s just a phase". (##3 and 4) :p
But i guess you meant it differently, right? ;)
(...) And they are a cute couple!
i too think so.

What really interests me after reading this is: What are his experiences with people who know he is dating a white women. Are there differences between people`s reactions towards a black man with a white girlfriend and a white woman with a black boyfriend?

Another thing that comes to mind: Why is it, this thread is such a silent place (as opposed to many others in this forum)?
@michelle sd: Maybe you should`ve posted a pic with a naked butt in it along with the link. :)
 

MacNfries

Male
Sweet & Cordial
Gold Member
From
NC, US
#9
What are you trying to say by this? Is there any particular difference about who says it?
(BTW i like your new avatar. You two look even happier in it.)
Thank you, for the avatar compliment, myway. I try to change the avatar 3-4 times a year or so. And we are a very happy couple. She tolerates a lot of my grouchiness.

The reason I mentioned those, was because they, as with other words & phrases, are racist references, and because two of the first 3 posters to this OP's thread mentioned or hinted of racism. However, no one usually gets called out when racist overtones are used in reverse. It always seems to go only one way. My purpose of mentioning it was to call attention and remind folks that racism is not a one-way street. If condescending references were made to black male members as often as they are of white male and female members, here, you'd see flame wars going off regularly. A few of the regular white females (who I got to know during my first 3-4 years as a member here) specifically left because of the condescending remarks and references to white females. But to answer your question as to "is there any particular difference about who says it?" ... absolutely not, and that was my point. But, I don't think those comments or that article was implying that.
Just the way I see it ... Mac

ps ... check out this website for a few video discussions on racial dating. I'm sure you'll find them meaningful ...
http://themilwaukeedrum.com/2010/08/17/taboo-tuesday-jungle-fever-real-talk-from-sisters/
 
Last edited:
#10
Thank you, for the avatar compliment, myway. (...)
Y.w. Mac.
(...) However, no one usually gets called out when racist overtones are used in reverse. It always seems to go only one way. (...)
i know. Black men are racists too. :D
^ NOT to be read as a general statement. And that exactly is the point!

Seriously, it ALWAYS goes ONE WAY!, as follows: racist ==(racist statement or action)==> "race".
Replace "racist" with an individual of any "race", and ""race"" with any "racial" group.

Racism always addresses a group of people by applying generalisation to individuals in a way that they are viewed as something homogenous when in fact they are NOT (<= i.e. stereotyping).

Statements are made and actions are taken by individuals and NOT groups, though. This is of course also true for racist statements and actions.

This means, there can never be something like "a racist race", but only racist individuals. And these exist within ALL groups (and "races").

So my above statment "Black men are racists too." can only be interpreted as "There are also some (a few or many) black men who are racists" and not "Black men (as a whole = all black men) are racists."

The letter interpretation would be stereotyping and applying the same logik racism follows and would indeed be racist itself, and nonsensical!, as it is impossible that each and every one from a whole "race" (= billions of people) can collectively be this or that.

(...)
ps ... check out this website for a few video discussions on racial dating. I'm sure you'll find them meaningful ...
http://themilwaukeedrum.com/2010/08/17/taboo-tuesday-jungle-fever-real-talk-from-sisters/
Thanks for the link. Many differnt people with many different views and biases.
 
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