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I've realized this is stupid and unrealistic. I'm not even near anyone I could pledge myself to. This is unhealthy and delusional.

Looks like he wasn't serious. Still looking.

Sir, when clicking on your profile the option to message you isn't there.

The desire for a husband is delusional. I am not worthy of that. But if I can find a black man willing to claim me, I will pledge myself as his sex slave. I understand I have no right to ask for more. The only thing I need is to know he is real.

https://www.blacktowhite.net/threads/i-want-to-be-his-good-girl-so-bad-help.230252/post-3960309

I'm not chasing one night stands or getting naked on first dates though. I don't even get dates to go to.

I'm afraid of abandonment.

Because if I fully surrendered and things didn't work out, there would be no way to go back and put the mask back on.

I fear that if I surrender to the wrong person, I will be used, destroyed and discarded, all for the sake of cheap thrills. I feel I have to protect myself, otherwise nobody will.

That makes me really sad but ok. I would rather find a man. And it's hard to find one I can trust.

Honestly? I don't really know. I want to. I have a lot of fear in me. Confusion. I need to give it my best. That is the only sincere answer I can give. I don't want to bs anyone.

Last one for now.

Just hot...

End game = Future = Alpha Black guy

Prominent display of Miley in "Bulls" clothing partying with black guys.

Romance with black guy, song titled Heaven...

Hot black guy, playing with big black snake.

Chocolate cream? Zebras? Hum...

Pay attention to the details here. From them using a black pawn to defeat a white king to... well, the name of the band.

What if you thought of him as your "gay best friend", could you respect him like that? As for children, they don't have to be his, you can have black babies.