I've been in this very position as a hubby before. The only way he will have a fighting chance at having normal intercorse again is by making it slow, gentle, pressure free lovemaking. Not goal oriented but instead just enjoying the connection with someone you love.
Probably one more factor could contribute to disappointment here too. Men who masturbate a lot tend to start using a death grip on their penises. This, over time will contribute to significant loss of sensitivity. Even to the point where only the pressure and motion a tightly clasped fist provides will stimulate the penis enough to maintain erection or ejaculate.
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